A Shade of Kiev 3 Read online

  It was like a fire I didn’t know still existed within me being extinguished. A candle being snuffed out.

  “Your eyes,” I choked.

  He continued glaring down at me, one hand closing around my throat. His claws scratched against my skin. He could rip through my throat in a split second, but I didn’t fight back.

  And I didn’t understand why.

  It was as if his change of color had made me lose all will to fight.

  I caught the reflection of my own dark eyes in his crimson irises. And I remembered a time when mine had appeared brighter too.

  I realized then that the sense of loss I felt was for myself.

  I’ve lost something.

  Who was I before I surrendered to the Ancient?

  Why did I ever allow myself to sink into such darkness?

  I found myself questioning everything I’d done since my visit to the Ancient, and suddenly it felt like it wasn’t me who’d done these things.

  What am I doing with my life?

  I’ve lost my way.

  And I think I even expected that this would happen the moment I handed myself over to Rhys.

  I reached my hands up and wrapped them around Kiev’s, trying to loosen his hold on me. Again, although I could have used my powers, I didn’t.

  The vampire seemed surprised that I wasn’t attempting to fight back, and loosened his hold around my neck, though he still sat with his legs either side of my waist.

  His eyes didn’t leave mine for a moment.

  What was it that I made myself forget before?

  I remembered the morning after I had taken the potion. I had woken up with tears staining my cheeks.

  Could it have been this man?

  I thought of Rhys, memories of his proposal the night before flooding back through my mind. The knots in my stomach became tighter. More painful.

  Suddenly everything about the path I was on seemed wrong. Forced. I felt trapped by my own actions. Bound up in rope. Needing desperately to be cut free.

  Just thinking about marrying Rhys now made me feel sick to my stomach.

  That is not my life.

  Rhys’ wife is not what I am.

  “I knew you before, didn’t I?” I breathed, staring up at the vampire.

  He frowned, then nodded slowly, his red eyes gleaming against the embers in the fireplace.

  He stood up. I climbed back to my feet and gripped his shirt, staring up into his eyes desperately.

  “What am I?”

  His jaw clenched as he tensed beneath my touch.

  He gripped my hands and loosened my hold on him, taking a step away from me.

  “I don’t know what you are. I don’t think I’ve ever known.” He swallowed hard.

  “Please,” I breathed. “Help me.”

  His breathing became heavier. His fists clenched.

  “You’re the most impossible woman I’ve ever met. Stubborn. Aggravating. Downright insane… Yet you’ve lodged yourself in my brain like no other. And I have no idea why.”

  “I loved you?”

  He scowled. “You had a strange way of showing it if you did.”

  “I loved you,” I repeated. And this time, it wasn’t a question.

  He stared at me.

  I closed my eyes. How I was sure of such a statement when I had no memories of this man, I didn’t know. But I’d never been more certain of anything in my life.

  He stood there speechless. I walked toward him and reached up a hand to touch his face. I brushed my fingers against his stubble, my breath hitching as I relished the feel of him.

  When I looked up again, I was staring into emerald green eyes. Several shades brighter than I’d ever seen them before.

  At that moment, my heart sang. My chest felt lighter. Hope filled my dark soul. And then came the memories. Flooding back in waves. Filling my clouded mind with the ecstasy, the bright sunshine, that Kiev was to me.

  “I remember you now,” I whispered, placing a palm against his chest, over his heart. “You’re my mirror.”

  Chapter 30: Kiev

  “You’re my mirror.”

  Her words rang in my ears.

  Her cool palm resting against my heart, I reached up and touched her gently, brushing strands of her hair away from her face so that I could take in the full beauty that she was to me.

  “I see myself in you,” she murmured. “I see my darkness. My struggles. My base desires. And I… I think that’s something that no amount of magic can cover up.”

  Something Matteo had once told me came to the forefront of my mind.

  “Of creatures who inhabit the darkness, there are two types. Those who revel in it, and those who fight to escape it.”

  Although sometimes I still had trouble believing it, he had said that I belonged to the latter group, and that was why he had given me a second chance.

  Perhaps what Mona is saying is true. Maybe we mirror each other. Maybe she’s also struggling to escape it and that’s why I feel this inexplicable pull toward her. Why, despite all her faults, I can’t get enough of her.

  Maybe my search for redemption is shared by her, and she makes me feel like I’m not alone in this dark tunnel with seemingly no end.

  I breathed out as realization dawned on me.

  As I stared down at Mona’s pale face, all the confusion that had been pent up within me ever since I’d met her began to crumble away.

  We’ve both spent our years trying to piece together the scraps of life we’ve been thrown.

  And now we have each other, even as we go down together.

  At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to hold her. Kiss her. Feel her. Lose myself in her.

  My need for her consumed me as I pulled her flush against me and pressed my mouth against any part of her I could reach. Her chest, neck, cheeks, lips. I groaned as I breathed in her scent. She placed her hands either side of my face. Her tears wet my cheeks as she kissed me hungrily. She crushed herself against me, her arms tightening around my neck as though she was drowning. And I was her life raft, even if I sank with her.

  When we finally detached ourselves from each other, the reality of our situation flooded back.

  I still didn’t know why exactly Mona had tried to erase her memories of me, but nothing had changed about our situation. She still belonged to Rhys…

  She drew in a sharp breath, gripping my hands.

  “I have the power to break free from Rhys now,” she said.

  “What?”

  “I was granted the same powers as him, the powers of a Channeler. He no longer has the same strength over me he did before. I… I can break free from him.” She spoke slowly, as though the concept of freedom was only just sinking in.

  “Break free from him? And go where?”

  “Anywhere. Far away from here. I can free you too. And your siblings, if they want to come.” She paused, her eyes widening. “But we have to be quick.”

  Her words sent my head spinning.

  I looked over at Anna, whose presence I’d forgotten until now. Shock and anxiety was written on her face as she watched Mona and I.

  Maybe we’ll be able to return Anna to her family after all.

  “Rhys proposed to me last night,” Mona croaked.

  That returned my attention to her.

  “What?”

  She nodded.

  “If we are to escape, it has to be as soon as possible. Tonight.”

  Tonight.

  “How do you suggest we go about this?” I asked.

  She chewed on her lower lip and began pacing the floor, rubbing her temples. When she turned to me again, it was with nervous anticipation.

  “Go now and warn your siblings that we plan to leave two hours after midnight, tomorrow morning. Tell them to wait by the second largest ship in the port—The Journeyman, it’s called. A large dark brown ship. It’s moored right next to the Black Bell. I’m still not sure why you stole this immune, but since you seem to be bent on protecting her, b
ring her too. You’ll come down at the same time as your siblings. I’ll meet you there. And once we’re all together, I’ll break through all of our bonds at once.”

  She reached up to kiss me once more before taking a step back.

  “I need to go now. I’ve already been away too long. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Please make sure that none of you are late.”

  I nodded, although I hated that she had to leave me again so soon after I’d rediscovered her.

  She vanished.

  I looked over at Anna. She breathed out, clutching her stomach.

  “Thank God,” she breathed.

  I had no time to waste now.

  “Anna, I need to go and find my siblings,” I said.

  I pushed the cupboard back against the wall, concealing her in the small space once again.

  “I’ll be back as soon as possible,” I whispered.

  I rushed toward the door and, careful to lock it, began racing down the hallway up the staircase to my siblings’ quarters.

  I barged through Helina’s door and was relieved to find both her and Erik sitting in the living room sipping on glasses of blood, deep in conversation. They looked up at me in alarm as I stormed into the room.

  “Kiev?”

  I explained everything as quickly as I could. They sat dumbstruck.

  “Mona… Do you even trust her?” Erik asked. “What if this is all just a test—a trap to see if we’re loyal to them?”

  “I trust Mona,” I said quickly. “I don’t have time to explain. You just need to trust me when I say that this isn’t some sort of test. This is real. And quite possible the first and last opportunity to escape this place you’ll have for the rest of your lives. I’m leaving with her tomorrow. It’s up to you if you want to come with us.”

  There was a silence. They exchanged more worried glances.

  “We’ll be there, Kiev,” Erik said. “I’m trusting you that this is worth the risk.”

  I heaved a sigh. I’d been expecting it to take longer to convince them.

  “Good. Now I have to return to Anna. Remember, whatever you do, do not be late. I’ll see you early tomorrow morning.”

  I dashed out of the apartment and hurried back down the steps toward my chambers.

  As I stepped down the last step leading to my floor, I found myself face to face with the last person on this island I needed to see right now. The ginger warlock, Efren.

  “In a hurry, vampire?” he asked.

  I brushed past him, but he reached out and gripped my arm.

  With his other hand, he held up a clump of long ginger hair. He dropped it down on the floor in front of me.

  “I should have had the sense to test her hair right at the beginning for traces of potion.”

  I stood still, speechless. Although I didn’t let my face display even the slightest hint of emotion.

  “And guess what I discovered? She had recently taken—or been given—some kind of memory-altering potion. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  “Hmm… Somehow, I just don’t believe you, Novalic. Nobody else on this island would have done this to my sister. I know them all too well. Of course, I can’t prove to Rhys that it was you who did this, but it doesn’t matter. Because I know it was you.”

  I brushed past him, but as I turned my back on him, he reached out and grabbed my shoulder. As his fingers closed around it, an excruciating pain shot through my body. My legs gave way beneath me. I looked down in horror to see that he had paralyzed me. I couldn’t move them an inch.

  “Don’t worry,” he hissed, bending down so that his face was barely an inch away from mine. “I’m not going to be the one to punish you and make you suffer. I’m going to leave that to someone more capable…”

  He reached down and, as he touched my head, we vanished from the spot.

  Chapter 31: Mona

  Rhys was gone by the time I entered our apartment and he didn’t return until later that evening. I was about to step in the shower when he returned. I stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around me, as soon as the front door opened.

  “Well?” he asked.

  “Nothing still,” I sighed, leaning against the doorway.

  “What was it that caused you to have fresh suspicions of the Novalics?”

  “Oh, I remembered noticing Helina sneak behind the cave after the ritual. I thought I’d just go and check those boulders and caves near the beach to see if she might have hidden the immune there. But there was nothing.”

  “Well, it’s good that you were alert enough to check.”

  He pulled off his cloak and started removing his boots.

  I walked over to the balcony, looking out, trying to calm my rapid breathing.

  He walked up behind me, sliding his hands beneath my towel and placing both hands over my bare stomach. He pulled me back against him, kissing my neck.

  He paused. “Why do you smell of Julisse’s perfume?”

  His words bewildered me. I knew now that Kiev was making Anna use perfume to mask the smell of her blood. But why the hell would it be Julisse’s perfume?

  “D-do I? I have no idea,” was the only response I could think of.

  “Hm.”

  “I’ve been thinking about last night,” I said before he started thinking more about it.

  He ran his fingers through my loose hair, pulling my head back and pressing his lips against my forehead. I felt his Adam’s apple move against the back of my head as he spoke. “Tell me,” he said softly.

  “I want to complete us, Rhys,” I whispered seductively. “I want to have your children.”

  His heart beat faster against me.

  I turned around to face him. His lips were parted slightly as he stared down at me. And then, to my horror, a tear glistened in one of his eyes.

  I hadn’t seen Rhys cry since he was a child.

  I’d lost count of how many years I’d spent craving to see any kind of sign of humanity in Rhys. Any glimmer of emotion.

  But now, I wished to God that he wouldn’t show it. I wanted to think of him as dead to feelings. Dead to love. I wanted his heart to be made of stone, because then it wouldn’t be broken when I left him.

  He scooped me up in his arms and twirled me round the room, burying his head against my neck.

  His smile. It was boyish and uninhibited. It was the smile of my best friend, whom at one time I would have done anything for.

  My throat tightened as he bent down and tenderly kissed my lips.

  He reached for the heavy ring on the dressing table and slid it onto my finger. It weighed down my shaking hand, but it weighed down my aching heart more.

  Throughout all of it, he thought I was crying tears of happiness. When really, I was shedding tears of guilt as I imagined him waking up alone in bed the morning after the love of his life had finally agreed to marry him, with no idea where she’d gone. I imagined him passing the rest of his years alone in his darkness, never understanding why she’d deserted him on what should have been the happiest night of her life.

  But I didn’t belong with Rhys.

  No matter how much he loved me, I never could return his love. He’d fallen too far and I didn’t know how to save him.

  He thought I was crying tears of joy as he wiped my face with his thumbs, showering me with kisses.

  When really, I was crying tears of goodbye.

  * * *

  Rhys even excused us from the ritual that evening. He didn’t want to interrupt our time together.

  It was just as well. As it was, I was afraid that he might not be asleep in time for me to sneak out at two am. I came to regret telling him I’d marry him. I should have expected that he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off me.

  But at about half past one, to my surprise, there was a knock on the door.

  Rhys pulled on his robe and opened the front door.

  Efren’s voice came from the corridor.


  “Rhys, I’m sorry to bother you at this late hour. But there’s something I need to show you urgently in the spell room.”

  Rhys returned to the bedroom, looking at me apologetically.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  He kissed my forehead and disappeared from the room.

  I didn’t think I’d ever feel as grateful to Efren as I did then. His timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

  This is it.

  This is my chance to leave now. Forever.

  I reached for a piece of parchment by the desk and scribbled down a short note.

  “Gone for a walk. Needed some fresh air.”

  I left the note on my pillow. I was about to vanish, but then something occurred to me. I opened the drawer of my dressing table and rummaged around until I found the old leather binder I’d retrieved from the Ageless’ palace back in The Sanctuary. I still didn’t know exactly what these maps were, but they seemed important. Pulling on my cloak and tucking the binder safely beneath it, I vanished.

  I reappeared outside The Journeyman. Two dark figures waited by the ship. Helina and Erik.

  I looked around, frowning.

  “Kiev and Anna?”

  Helina and Erik exchanged worried glances.

  “We thought they were coming with you.”

  Chapter 32: Kiev

  Every limb in my body was now paralyzed. I couldn’t fight against the chains Efren had bound me in. I just sat in that underground room, slouched against the wall, barely even able to support the weight of my own head.

  Efren approached holding a white-hot poker. I groaned as he ran it along my chest, burning a cross into my skin. It wasn’t healing, so I assumed that he’d put some other spell on me to hinder my body’s natural healing capabilities.

  As I was close to unconsciousness, he stopped his torture and left the room. Darkness clouding my vision, I stared at the two humans opposite me. One a young girl, the other an older man. Now my mind came alive with panic about Anna. She would still be trapped in my room. Assuming Efren hadn’t already sniffed her out.