A Shade of Doubt Read online

  I descended in the elevator and began walking through the woods. I wanted to feel the sea breeze against my skin and the water lapping around my feet, so I made my way toward the shore. But as I entered the clearing in front of the Port, I stopped short.

  What I saw there, at the end of the jetty, made me believe that I must have still been dreaming.

  Chapter 29: Mona

  I tried to fall asleep again, but the nightmare kept resurfacing each time I tried.

  I let go of Kiev and tossed and turned in bed, trying to find a comfortable position. I drifted off only briefly before being woken yet again by the same nightmare. I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes.

  I glanced down toward Kiev’s side of the bed. It was empty now.

  “Kiev?” I called.

  I checked the bathroom and all the other rooms upstairs and downstairs. I could only assume he’d gone for a walk. Since I couldn’t sleep, I decided I might as well go for a walk myself.

  I exited the house and stepped onto the beach. I walked to the water’s edge, dipping my feet in the waves. I looked out at the still dark horizon. The stars twinkled overhead, the moonlight making the sea glisten.

  I wasn’t sure where I was going. I just kept walking along until I eventually realized that I was nearing the island’s port. I shifted away from the waves and moved further inland. It was only once I’d left the beach and climbed up the steps to the platform along which the subs were lined that I noticed two figures standing at the end of the jetty.

  I had to look closely in the gloom—they could have almost been mistaken for one figure, they were embracing so tightly. I wasn’t sure which lovebirds were making out at this time of the morning, and it felt intrusive to keep staring, so I was about to turn around and walk back toward home when I heard it.

  A deep groan, and then a whisper—soft, but still clearly audible in the quiet of the early morning:

  “Sofia.”

  I looked more closely, and now I could recognize Kiev’s silhouette in the moonlight, and Sofia’s long red hair.

  I stared in horror.

  This must still be a dream. I never woke up.

  I was about to pinch myself when I heard the snapping of branches behind me. I whirled around to see the dark shadow of none other than Derek Novak. We both locked eyes. He looked as dumbstruck as I felt.

  If Derek is here… witnessing exactly the same sight as me… how can this be a dream?

  I looked back at Kiev and Sofia. His hands rested on her lower back, holding her flush against him as their lips kneaded against each other.

  This isn’t a dream.

  I’m seeing this with my own eyes. This is happening.

  I woke up. Kiev wasn’t there. He’d come here… to meet Sofia.

  My hands were shaking, my mind was on fire as doubt after doubt blazed through it.

  Could my dream of them in the lighthouse have been a vision? Has it been Sofia on Kiev’s mind whenever we’ve made love? Did he ever even love me? Was I just a distraction for him? How long have they been seeing each other since we arrived on the island? Is this why he wanted to return here? For Sofia?

  I stumbled back further into the shadows of the trees. Although my heart was burning, I didn’t know that I had the courage to hear it from his own lips. To hear him admit that he loved Sofia over me. I didn’t know that I could handle the pain that would cause. I was in enough agony already.

  So I ran.

  Vanishing myself away from the Port, I reappeared in our bedroom.

  Suddenly all the love, all the pleasure, I’d thought we’d shared in this room together seemed to vanish into an empty hole. I felt like I was losing my mind. All I could see around me now were traces of the redhead. Hell, I even thought that I could smell her here.

  Anger coursed through my veins.

  All this time, both of them have been playing me for a fool. I trusted them both, and they betrayed me in the worst possible way.

  I felt fire heating up my palms, and as rage and grief consumed me, I could no longer control it. Flames burst from my fingertips, lighting up the bedsheets and licking the walls until soon the whole room was engulfed in the blaze. The heat was so scorching, tears could barely spill from my eyes before they dried out.

  I looked around at the fire devouring the room. A room I’d once cherished. A room that now held nothing for me, except…

  My eyes fell on my mother’s jewelry box, still sitting on my dressing table. Its gems glimmered in the flames.

  As I stared at that box, it suddenly felt like it was the only thing of value left for me on this deceitful island.

  Chapter 30: Derek

  The Port.

  Where I’d shared my first kiss with Sofia.

  Now where I saw—or thought I saw—my wife sharing a passionate kiss with Kiev Novalic.

  Either the pressure I’m under has finally driven me to insanity, or I’m still dreaming.

  Yet seeing Mona standing opposite me, sharing the same shocked expression—it somehow made the vision before me seem real. Another person could clearly see what I saw.

  I was frozen to the spot. I could barely coordinate myself enough to move my feet as I stared at my wife kissing Kiev as though her life depended on it.

  Even when I was finally able to move and walk forward, I still couldn’t find my voice. It was as though I’d swallowed my tongue, or forgotten I even had one.

  As I reached the jetty and began walking toward them, Kiev caught Sofia’s hand and they leapt off the edge. I couldn’t see where to at first, but when I sped up, I caught sight of a submarine disappearing beneath the waves.

  What?

  I stood staring at the waves for several moments, blinking, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

  “Derek?”

  I didn’t think that the night could become any more insane, but as I turned around to see Sofia running out of the forest toward me, I found myself reeling.

  As she approached me wearing her nightdress, a bewildered look on her sleepy face, I looked from her to the water I thought I’d just seen her disappear beneath.

  I reached out and gripped her arms, then caught her lips in mine. I kissed her hard, partly to make sure she was real and partly because I was still suffering from the torment of watching Kiev claim her.

  “Derek,” she gasped, as I finally let go of her. “What on earth is going on? What are you doing out of bed so early?”

  I stared at her. My mind felt so muddled, I was unsure of how to even begin articulating my thoughts.

  “I just saw you standing right here at the end of this jetty, kissing Kiev.”

  “What?”

  “As I approached, you jumped down into a submarine and it submerged beneath the waves.”

  “Baby.” She looked at me with concern in her eyes as she held my head in her hands. “What’s happened to you? What’s the last thing you remember before stepping outside?”

  “I’d gotten out of bed to get a glass of blood and check on Ben. When I returned, you were no longer in bed. There was a note on the door, saying you’d gone for a walk. And then I reached the Port and saw you two…”

  She reached up and placed a palm over my forehead, looking more worried than ever. “I felt you get up to check on Ben. And I was still in bed when you came back. I even spoke to you. You looked right through me as though I wasn’t even there. Then you left the room and a minute later, I heard the front door opening and closing.”

  Before I even had a chance to process Sofia’s words, someone called out to us.

  “Derek. Sofia.”

  We turned to see Kiev jogging along the jetty toward us, still in his pajamas.

  “Have you seen Mona?”

  I was about to answer yes. But then I wondered if the vision of Mona had also been an illusion.

  “I… I thought I saw her here, a few minutes ago.”

  Kiev frowned. “What do you mean, you thought you saw her?”

  I exhaled in
frustration. “Well, I also thought I just saw you making out with my wife.”

  Now it was Kiev’s turn to look flummoxed. “What?” His eyes traveled from Sofia to me, then back to Sofia. “Has your husband been drinking?”

  Sofia shook her head, though even she didn’t seem so sure as she still looked at me worriedly.

  “I haven’t been drinking,” I said impatiently. My head in my hands, I closed my eyes, leaning against the railing, trying to make sense of my thoughts.

  What the hell just happened?

  “We need to talk to Eli,” Sofia said suddenly. “Just recently, he thought he saw Adelle cheating on him with my father.”

  She didn’t wait for my response before rushing off, leaving me standing alone with Kiev.

  His presence still gave me shudders. Even though I was aware that what I’d witnessed was an illusion, it didn’t stop the urge to rip out his throat, or at least maim him a little. Despite the fact that I’d made up with him, my temper still tended to be much shorter with him than others on this island because of the past we shared. And I wasn’t sure that much could ever be done about that.

  “You really thought I’d do that?” he asked, staring at me.

  I shot him a glance. I didn’t believe that my Sofia would do that. But as for Kiev? The truth was, I didn’t know. He’d made no secret of the fact that he’d held a strong attraction for her years ago. I’d even feared that he’d have his way with her while she was under his care in The Blood Keep. I didn’t know how strong his attraction for her still was. Although he’d changed, he still had a dark side… like the rest of us.

  An awkward silence fell between us as I chose not to answer. It didn’t last long though, as Sofia came racing back through the forest, with both Aiden and a bleary-eyed Eli trailing along behind her. I was glad to see that Eli seemed to have recovered from his neck injury.

  Aiden was the first to speak. “Yuri and Claudia. Landis and Ashley. Zinnia and Gavin. Do you know why they were all absent from the funeral?”

  I stared at him. “Why?”

  “All had arguments. I believe all about the same thing—one of them thought the other was cheating.”

  Aiden didn’t need to say another word for my suspicions to begin to finally align and make sense.

  I slammed my fist against a wooden post, cursing beneath my breath. “I knew we shouldn’t have let those witches onto the island.”

  “Derek, but how—?” Sofia stammered.

  I shook my head. I didn’t know how. But now, in a rush of thoughts, I was beginning to guess why.

  “We need to find Mona,” I said.

  I began lurching forward toward the direction of their home along the beach while the others followed me. That was the logical place to start. Perhaps the vision I’d had of her was indeed real, and she’d magicked herself back to the house, narrowly missing Kiev, who’d come out looking for her.

  As we neared the stretch of beach where the vampires were housed, my heartbeat quickened. Dozens of vampires and werewolves stood out on the beach, all staring and pointing at a billowing vortex of smoke rising up from the top of Kiev’s building.

  “What the—” Kiev swore and, before any of us could hold him back, he hurtled into the burning building.

  “He’s mad!” Aiden gasped.

  I couldn’t argue with my father-in-law.

  We waited with bated breath for Kiev to emerge. His siblings, Erik and Helina, rushed over to us. Their eyes were wide with panic.

  “What happened?” Helina cried.

  I shook my head, my eyes still fixed on the fiery building’s entrance.

  We all breathed a sigh of relief when Kiev finally emerged from it. But our relief didn’t last long as he staggered toward us empty-handed. His clothes were singed, he had burns all over his body and ash smeared his face.

  He fell to his knees, wheezing.

  “Mona’s gone.”

  Chapter 31: Ben

  About half an hour after my father injected me, blood began to spill from my nostrils and I felt an overwhelming urge to retch again. Drawing open the window, I coughed up mouthfuls more of it.

  I didn’t understand why, but one thing was becoming clear to me. My body rejected animal blood. I’d had no problem consuming Yasmine’s blood.

  I slammed the window shut, breathing heavily. I sensed a tinge of human blood in my room, carried in by a breeze. My mouth watered.

  I paced up and down my room, trying to distract myself from the hunger tearing through my stomach. But it was impossible. It felt like every cell of my being was craving human blood.

  Guilt still gripped me for what I’d done to Yasmine. And yet I realized I wouldn’t hesitate to kill again if it meant satisfying my hunger. I tried to feel guilty at the realization, but I was too consumed by bloodlust. Remembrance of the taste of her blood filled my mind, tantalizing my taste buds. My mouth tingled just at the memory of it.

  I walked back over to the window, staring out at the starry night sky.

  I can’t remain here like this.

  I’d thought it would get better. I’d thought, as my parents had hoped, that I’d get accustomed to animal blood and it would fill me up enough to not be so dangerous, not be such a threat to humans. But I didn’t see how that could ever happen when I couldn’t even hold down the stuff for more than a few minutes.

  This island was under enough stress as it was without me going around murdering people. And I didn’t want to risk taking the life of another person I cared for. What would become of The Shade if they couldn’t even trust their own prince?

  Although it cut me to think of how it would hurt my parents, there only was one solution. And I needed to do it sooner rather than later.

  Now that I’d just thrown up again, I felt hungrier than ever.

  I clutched the handle of my door. It was locked. I cast my eyes around the room. Grabbing a backpack, I began piling items of clothing and personal belongings into it. I emptied my cupboard, drawers, and looked under my bed for money. While I had a few notes, it wouldn’t be enough. I didn’t know how long I would need to stay away.

  I couldn’t break down the door. It would wake my parents.

  Swinging the bag onto my back, I pulled open the window. My breath hitched as I looked down—the forest ground was hundreds of feet down. I climbed out, gripping hold of the wooden frame. With one forceful swing, I hurled myself against the window ledge next to mine. It was the window in the hallway. I was relieved that it was slightly open.

  Hauling myself up, I pulled the window fully open before climbing back into the apartment. I held my breath, listening for any sign of my parents stirring. The apartment was completely silent. I couldn’t hear their snoring… or even breathing for that matter. I wondered if they were even in the apartment.

  I padded along the carpet and headed to my father’s study. Easing the door open, I walked to the safe and entered the code. I pulled out several wads of cash before closing it again. We had plenty of money on this island. More than we needed. It wouldn’t be missed.

  Next, I reached into the filing cabinet next to the safe and pulled out one of the several photocopies of Mona’s map my father stored there. I wasn’t sure why I’d taken it, but there was no harm having it.

  After stuffing both the money and the map into my bag, finally I walked over to my father’s desk. I picked up a pen and ripped off a piece of paper from his notepad.

  I stared at the paper for several minutes before putting the pen to it.

  No matter how I worded it, it would cut my parents deep. So I might as well just be as direct as possible. I didn’t have much time after all. I couldn’t be caught. If I was, I didn’t know that I would be able to escape the island.

  Bending down over the desk, I began to write:

  “I can’t hold in animal blood.

  I’ve left, because it’s what is best for The Shade. Our people are safer without me.

  I don’t know when I’ll return. But,
please, don’t come looking for me.

  Ben.”

  I stared at my handwriting a few more moments, jagged and messy from the way my hand was shaking. Then I slid the note into the center of the table where my father would see it.

  I regretted not being able to say goodbye to everyone I cared for in The Shade. Especially Abby. We’d become close friends in recent weeks. I hoped that she’d understand.

  Drawing a deep breath, I left the room. Although I guessed that it would be locked, I tried the front door. I was right to have tried. It was open. I couldn’t use the elevator in case I bumped into someone. Climbing onto the balcony railing, I leapt into a nearby tree. My heart hammered in my chest as I closed the distance between myself and the ground. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I lost no time in racing forward. I whizzed through the trees so fast, I would have appeared to be but a blur to any onlooker.

  Once I reached the Port, I ducked down low. I had to keep myself hidden in shadow as much as I could. I arrived at the bay of submarines and, scanning the line for the smallest one, opened the hatch and lowered myself inside.

  As I seated myself in the control room and started up the engine, navigating it away from the harbor and into the open sea, I didn’t know where I would go or what I would do. Or how I would survive as this beast I was still trying to understand myself.

  I didn’t understand why I was different from all the other vampires. They adjusted to animal blood. Their bodies didn’t expel it like it was poison. They didn’t feel the urge to violate the law of the island by harming humans.

  I didn’t know what was different about me, or what was to become of me. But whatever the case, one truth remained: I no longer belonged in The Shade.

  Chapter 32: Annora

  Anselm had been gracious enough to grant me the corpse of a black-haired woman without asking many questions. I’d noticed it piled up outside the royal kitchens as I was escorted back toward the gate. After the guard led me back out onto the beach and set me down next to the circular hole in the sand I’d arrived through, I looked over the body. I waited until the ogre had disappeared behind the iron gates before starting work on it. This woman looked very different from Rose. Her hair and height were the only similarities. I walked over to the ship I’d found the chest of daggers in and started running thin cuts along the body, enough so that no discernible features could be made out. Since the hair also wasn’t the right length, I slashed the tips to give them a ripped effect.