The Gender Lie Read online

  “Hey, Owen. What do you think so far?”

  He grinned and nodded enthusiastically. “This is great. I asked Desmond to sign me up as an instructor, but alas, I have a mission coming up in the next couple of weeks, so I’m on standby. I was here to see if you wanted to train though.”

  I considered it, but shook my head. “Nah. I’m staying here for Viggo. We need to… talk.”

  Owen pouted playfully and then nodded. “Yeah… heard some rumors that you guys maybe had a fight.”

  I rolled my eyes. “No matter where you go, somebody is always in your business.”

  Chuckling, Owen squatted down next to me. “True story. Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No. I’m here to make up anyway, so unless Viggo is super mad at me, which I doubt, then I think it’ll be fine.”

  “What’d you fight about?” he inquired.

  “What’ve you heard?” I countered, and he laughed good-naturedly.

  “Fair enough, none of my business. But listen… he’s not the jealous type, is he?”

  As he asked, his gaze drifted over to Viggo. I followed his line of sight, and noticed Viggo staring at us intently, his green eyes flashing. I laughed, and then covered my mouth when the boys around us turned to look, waving them off.

  “Afraid of Viggo?” I teased Owen.

  “Terrified might also be an understatement,” he declared, shooting me an over-exaggerated wide-eyed face. I chuckled again.

  “Well, don’t worry. I’ll put in a good word for you when I make up with him tonight.”

  Owen shook his head, practically vibrating with how much he didn’t want me to do that. “Oh no. Don’t do that. You start saying nice things about me, and he’s gonna find me and kill me.”

  I snorted. “All right, I’ll talk about what a pain in the ass you are, and how cowardly you are.”

  “Good,” he smirked.

  “You’d better get out of here before he gets mad,” I said.

  “Thanks for having my back,” Owen said before he winked and strode away.

  I turned back to see Viggo looking at me again and when I met his eyes, he cast a small smile my way. I dared smirk back as I placed my chin on my knees. Our talk couldn’t come soon enough.

  29

  Viggo

  I walked up to where Violet had been sitting, torn between wanting to pull her into my arms and wanting to maintain the distance between us for fear of another fight. She had been patiently waiting for me though, which had to mean something.

  We locked eyes as she noticed my approach, slowly picking herself up off the floor with a calm expression. I felt a glimmer of hope slip through my feelings of foreboding.

  “Viggo,” she blurted, taking a step toward me. “I… was wondering if we could talk.”

  I gave her a considering look. “I’d like that,” I said.

  She held out her hand to me and I took it gingerly, allowing her to guide me back to our room. It was slow, painstaking, and way too quiet, but once we were there, I sat down on our nest on the floor and rubbed my legs.

  Her eyes took in my action. “How have you been feeling?”

  I nodded. “Good. It’s taking longer and longer before I feel the need to sit down, so that’s something. It’s so frustrating, though.”

  “And… your chest?”

  I nodded again, my hand rubbing the area on my ribcage. “Not so sore anymore. Just the legs.”

  She sat down in front of me, crossing her legs under her. “Listen… about the other day,” she said, her eyes on her hands. “I took some time to think about it and… I think you’re right. I just… needed time, I guess.”

  I stared at her. “Are you sure?”

  Violet smiled gently. “Of course I am. I forgot to… take in the motivations of the speaker, I guess. Desmond wants to win… you want to be fair. And I think your way is the better way.”

  I allowed the smile that had been threatening to form on my lips to come to life, and waved her over with my hand. “Come here,” I said, and she crawled over to me, until she was inches in front of me. I reached out and gripped her gently by her shoulders. I stared deep into her eyes, and then let out a sigh of relief, crushing her to me and holding her tight. I gave her a long moment to collect herself as her chest heaved. I also gave myself a long moment to just feel her against me.

  Then I guided her to a sitting position next to me. I angled my body toward hers until our knees touched. I kept her hands firmly in my own, not wanting to release them just yet.

  “So, what do you want to do?” I asked.

  “I… I don’t know,” she answered, with an air of tired frustration.

  “I get it. It’s hard pissing off the only friends we’ve got at the moment,” I said.

  “I’ve talked to Desmond about these kinds of things before, and it hasn’t always ended the way I wanted it to. I doubt this will either.”

  “So, what are you thinking?”

  She pressed her lips together and shook her head, blowing out her breath. After a minute, she turned her gaze to mine and raised an eyebrow. “What are your thoughts?”

  I ran through the options in my head. “Well, we can confront her or we can leave.”

  “We can’t leave,” she said. “Not with those boys. You’re doing fantastic work with them… I don’t want to take that away from them, do you?”

  “No,” I replied immediately. “But then that means we should confront her.”

  “A part of me wishes I had just… I don’t know… found another way to save your life. Demanded that they made you stable and then delivered you to Patrus so that you could get healed up faster.”

  I leaned over and cupped her cheeks in my hands. “Violet, no. You’re not at fault for this. I mean… how could you have known that she was willing to go to these lengths? You did what you had to do to help the people you care about. It’s what I love best about you.”

  I froze at the words tumbling out of my mouth. I had just admitted that I loved her, which hadn’t been my intention. In point of fact, short of a few stolen kisses, we had never discussed what was between us. There was no label that felt applicable in our situation, not that we had even talked about labeling what we had in the first place.

  I felt a wave of insecurity rush through me. I had no idea how she would react to this news, and I felt a pang of doubt at her dumbfounded expression.

  Until a smile lit up her eyes, causing them to shine in that peculiar way that reminded me of mercury. Her mouth curled up as she reached out with gentle fingers to trace the lines of my face.

  “You… love me?” she asked, her heart in her eyes and a teasing quality in her voice.

  I felt my expression softening as I nodded. “Of course I do. Think I’d give up my homeland for just anyone?”

  She laughed loudly, and I stooped down to lay a gentle kiss on her forehead. As soon as my lips tasted her skin, something in me shifted slightly, and I felt a sudden need to taste her more deeply.

  I pushed her insistently, sliding her down the wall while simultaneously stretching myself halfway onto her. Rolling over on my side with my leg thrown over hers, a growl escaped my throat as my desire for her overpowered me. For anyone else, I was a man of deep control, but with Violet, my hold over myself was tenuous at best. With everything that had happened the last few days… I was fighting off a desperate and primal need to have her. And I was losing.

  I stared down at her. Her face was tilted toward mine, angled for the kiss she seemed to sense coming. Her hands were on my shoulders, and I could feel the insistent press of them through my clothes. Bending down, I slid my hands over her hips and jerked her up slightly against me, savoring the feeling of her weight in my hands.

  She gave a little sound of surprise as I did this, and then relaxed her legs slightly, allowing my knee to fall between them. I took her invitation, sliding my hips over hers as I settled more deeply into the cradle of her thighs, and she moaned. She lifted both of her legs and
wrapped them around my waist, drawing our most intimate parts together until only a barrier of fabric separated us. I groaned, resting my forehead against hers. Our lips still hadn’t touched, and I kept my mouth millimeters from hers, our breaths mingling. Wrapping her legs around me was an entirely innocent move on her part, but it was like throwing gasoline on a raging fire that was barely being controlled.

  She shifted her hips, unaware of the effect her squirming was having on me. It took every ounce of self-control for me to not give her an intimate lesson on the ways of men and women right then and there. I knew she wouldn’t protest—if anything, she was hungry for it too, given the erratic and enthusiastic movements of her body.

  But she also looked vulnerable beneath the haze of her own desire, and that was enough for me to beat back the ravenous hunger I had for her. For now. I was going to have to marry the girl, and soon, before I would allow myself a taste of what she had to offer.

  Because even though Violet would laugh at me for saying it, I was still respectful enough to want to do things in the proper fashion. I wanted us married, and I wanted our wedding night. It was what we both deserved.

  Still, it didn’t stop me from pressing myself down onto her, pinning her hips with my own. I savored the look on her face at the small press of pleasure, and took advantage of her parted lips. It was a kiss of wildfire, spreading a slick and insistent heat that threatened to consume both of us. Violet trembled under my hands as I kissed her, my tongue teasing her own.

  She gave an insistent moan, her tongue rising to the challenge, and I growled approvingly in my throat, pulling her tighter against me. I was not gentle, but neither was she, as our two tongues battled each other. Violet tried to roll her hips against mine in an ancient rhythm that was timeless, and I felt sweat forming on my brow at her insistent little cries.

  I was pushing her too far too quickly. With the exception of her fiery, passionate kiss in my cabin months ago, I had never felt so close to giving in to my desires for her. My fingers pressed deep into the soft curve of her rear, and she moaned in response, shredding my already fraying self-control.

  With another frustrated growl, I pulled my head away from her and rolled off of her, not stopping until my back was against the wall, hoping the distance would help me regain control and focus.

  I watched her warily, sucking in deep breaths of air. Her gaze was unfocused as she stared up at the ceiling, as if she didn’t trust her own ability to move to a seated position. Her breathing was coming in fast pants, just like mine.

  After several long moments, she turned her head toward me and gave a laugh. “We should fight more often,” she suggested wryly.

  I pushed a hand through my hair, still struggling with my own control. “Later,” I announced, giving her a small smile. “After we decide what to do about this situation.”

  She nodded, her mouth returning to a flat line. She smoothed her hands over her clothes and then sat up, turning to face me. “Right,” she murmured.

  “So…” I drew a deep breath and swallowed. “Talk with Desmond about her plan?”

  “Right. Probably better to do it in the morning,” she said.

  I nodded. “Right,” I drawled, and she narrowed her eyes at me.

  “Sorry. A little distracted. I think… I’m going to take a walk,” she announced, rising to her feet.

  I gave her a cocky smile. “Afraid to be alone with me?”

  “No. Just, uh, cautious,” she retorted, her hand on the door.

  I smiled, inordinately happy that we had made up. “Oh yeah? Prove it,” I said, knowing I was potentially starting up the flame again. She froze, her back to me and then twisted round.

  “Arrogant Patrian,” she spat.

  “Impetuous Matrian,” I replied.

  She came back in and folded over at the waist to press a swift and—thankfully—chaste kiss to my lips. “I’ll be back in a little while,” she said.

  “And I’ll be waiting,” I replied huskily, watching her disappear into the hall.

  30

  Violet

  Two weeks later

  I was becoming more and more frustrated with Desmond, and was beginning to think that she was purposefully pushing us aside. I had requested to have a meeting with her twelve days ago, and since then, it had been scheduled, rescheduled, and then pushed back six times.

  I had taken the first two cancellations at face value—one time there was an op that ran into a problem during a mission, and Desmond needed to be there to problem solve. The second time, there was a food shortage due to a waylaid shipment that required her undivided attention.

  But when they had started to stack up, I sat down with Viggo and suggested that we were being pushed back intentionally. Viggo had urged patience, and I had agreed, but now, with this latest cancellation, I was angry.

  I threw open the door to our room and slammed it shut behind me. Viggo, who was lying on the floor looking at some files glanced up at me, his brows rising.

  “Desmond?” he asked archly and I let out a breath of air, nodding tightly.

  Viggo leaned forward. “What do you want to do?” he asked.

  “Tie her up and force her to listen to us?” I deadpanned.

  “Aggressive problem solving,” he said. “I like it.”

  I groaned and tossed myself into our nest behind him. “I just don’t get it! She can’t know what we want to talk about, so why is she putting us off?”

  I turned my gaze over to Viggo, who was frowning thoughtfully. “Are we sure she doesn’t know what we want to talk about?”

  “Hm,” I murmured. Was it possible that Desmond somehow knew that we were opposed to her plan? If so… why was she just leaving us alone? Why would she just leave us hung out to dry, forgotten about, but still within her group? It seemed… impractical.

  “I have no idea,” I said, “but I guess it’s possible. I’m still not sure why she wouldn’t act on the knowledge, if she has it.”

  Viggo was silent for a long moment. “Maybe… she can’t. We’ve kind of insinuated ourselves in here. You’ve got a rep for being a solid field agent, and I’ve sort of made myself indispensable with the work I’m doing with the boys.”

  I nodded before climbing back to my feet. “I gotta go,” I told him, shoving my hands in my pockets. “I promised Tim I’d go spend some time with him.”

  “Want me to come?”

  I smiled and shook my head. “Nope. Strictly sibling time. Besides, you get him for much longer than I do.”

  Viggo’s face fell and I immediately regretted my choice of words. I meant it as a joke, but clearly Viggo thought I was serious.

  “Whoa,” I said, holding up my hands. “It was a joke. Seriously… I love all the time you spend with him. Besides, I don’t want you to be accused of favoritism,” I added, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. “Even though I know he is your favorite.”

  “He really is my favorite,” he said, before cracking a smile at me.

  “Smart man,” I said as I exited the room.

  The sound of his chuckle filled the hallway behind me, and I smirked. Despite the frustration I was feeling with Desmond, Viggo had a way of making it all better. It put a little spring in my step as I headed downstairs.

  As I approached Tim’s cell, I was struck with another moment of happiness to see that the ramp was extended and locked in place, the door wide open. The boys in Viggo’s training program were given limited freedoms, but this one was a big one that Viggo had pressed for. It demonstrated his and the Liberators’ trust in them.

  I felt another surge of pride toward Viggo as I walked up the catwalk. He was so good at coming up with plans and executing them. Not to mention, he knew when to be strict and when to grant freedom. I was constantly amazed by his thoughtful nature, and his ability to build something from nothing.

  I swung through the door, knocking gently on the interior concrete. Tim was already inside, kneeling down and rubbing Samuel’s belly. The brown dog w
rithed in ecstasy, his tail making a whump whump sound against the floor. Tim was so focused on giving attention to the dog, that he failed to notice me for several seconds.

  When he did, however, I felt my heart constrict at the smile that broke out across his face. The transformation couldn’t have been more significant in my eyes. Gone were the wary shadows that turned his light gray irises dark. Even his posture had changed—he no longer slouched when he stood—now his back was straight, his shoulders squared. There was a quiet sense of confidence in him that hadn’t existed until several days ago.

  “Violet… Late,” he said, after taking a moment to scrutinize his watch.

  “Sorry, kiddo—I had to chat with Viggo for a few minutes.”

  He nodded politely. “Viggo... He’s a… good person.”

  I smiled and nodded, seeing that Viggo’s conversation class still needed a little work. “I think so, too, but I’m really glad you like him.”

  Tim nodded again, and I opened my arms to him. Hugging… was hard for my brother, so I was never offended when he declined. However, I must have caught him on a good day, because he smiled broadly, making me ache in all the best ways.

  He stepped into the circle of my arms and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a hug so hard that it forced me to laugh as he picked me up and spun me around in a circle. Just as quickly as it started, he dropped me, and took a step back. There was a slight strain in his face, but the smile remained.

  “I am so proud of you,” I stated, and he blushed. I knew that touching things was painful for him, but the fact that he was willing to set aside the pain for something as simple as a hug… So different he was from the boy I had rescued from the cell.

  I sat cross-legged on the floor, and he followed suit. “I can really see the difference,” I said, reaching over to unravel a curl on his forehead.

  He pulled away with a small laugh. “I’m not … a child, Vi,” he reminded me, humor laced in his voice.

  I grinned, unable to contain it. “No, but you’ll always be my baby brother,” I said, managing to slip my hand through his defenses and ruffle his hair gently.