The Gender Secret Read online

  To my relief, the seat popped open. I scrambled closer to it, reaching in and grabbing the bag. My breathing shallower than ever, my vision blacked out. I felt with my hands instead, and, after what seemed like an eternity, I jerked the mask out of the bag, and sealed it to my face.

  Greedily, I sucked lungful after lungful of filtered air. I heaved my exhausted body back to the tree trunk and braced my back against it, allowing myself to relax and breathe for a few minutes, giving my oxygen-deprived body a chance to recuperate.

  After five minutes, I opened my eyes. I was no longer blind and felt more alert, though my entire body felt like a bruise. All I could do was keep moving. I checked the contents of the backpack to make sure I hadn’t dropped anything, and then, after making sure the egg was securely inside, I closed the zipper and slung it over my shoulder. The left side of my body screamed in protest; I was sure that I had broken a rib.

  Exhaling into the mask, I began to slowly work my way down. It was much easier now that I wasn’t starved of oxygen, but my dress still made me go slower than I would have liked. To make matters worse, the small amount of moonlight being filtered in from the canopy was disappearing. It had all but vanished by the time I reached the bottom, but I had memorized the placement of the last two branches, and luckily my spatial reasoning and depth perception were decent. As soon as my feet crunched to the ground, I immediately swung the bag around, my finger searching blindly for the flashlight. The sounds of The Green seemed louder in the dark, each hiss and animal cry sounding like it was coming from directly behind me.

  My fingers found the cold grated metal of the flashlight, and I turned it on as I pulled it out, shining the light all around.

  Immediately, the sounds around me lessened as the shier nocturnal creatures moved away from the light. My knees gave way with relief and exhaustion and I dropped to the ground, rolling until the tree was against my back.

  I could feel sleep trying to claim me, the earlier exhaustion of the whole Lee nightmare coupled with the physical exhaustion of getting down the tree both working together to make my body feel disjointed, like a poorly stitched doll.

  I fought it tooth and nail, reaching into the bag clumsily, and pulling things out, scattering several items across the mossy ground. I saw the silver egg roll by. My eyelids drooping, I clumsily reached to grab it, tucking it into my lap while my other hand groped for the aerosol container.

  It seemed to take forever for me to compress the canister, and even after I did so, all I did was make a few half-hearted passes with it over the ground around me and the trunk behind me, before my muscles went slack, and I was pulled into unconsciousness.

  I woke some time later, my body jerking upright, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end. It was still dark, and I was still tired, but something had forced me to wake up. I picked up the flashlight with shaking hands, and scanned the clearing. What had roused me? Did I hear something?

  The ever-prevalent mist clung to the ground, roiling about. I could only see a few feet in front of me, and every shadow cast by the flashlight was causing me to jump, my worry deepening.

  My heart was pounding so hard; I could feel it in my throat. There was something out there, something that I wasn’t seeing, and my mind was screaming for me to run. But I forced myself to keep still, to steady my breathing.

  For a second, I thought about the Benuxupane in the bag—the white pills that would keep me from feeling my emotions, but I disregarded the idea. My instincts were warning me of danger. If I took another dose of King Maxen’s pills, it might soothe me too much.

  So, I forced myself to be calm, focusing on slowing my haggard breaths while continuing to scan the mist.

  It took a minute for me to respire normally and once I did, I became aware of what had woken me up. A low buzzing sound… a sound that seemed to be growing louder. Closer. Panic surged in me again, as I realized that the red flies were coming.

  5

  Viggo

  I whirled around the bannister as I fired. The motion caused my shot to go astray, but I avoided the bullet that lodged itself in the wall behind me by doing so. The Porteque man fired a few more shots, and I squatted down, counting his bullets. He was three down.

  I heard him scrambling across the floor, likely toward the kitchen to take cover by the cabinets. I crept down a few more stairs until I could see into the kitchen, and risked a glance to confirm his destination. Then I leveled my gun, waiting—patience and cover were the two things stressed during gun training.

  The second I saw a flash of his black cap, I squeezed the trigger. He ducked down before the bullet hit, causing it to shoot into the glass counter behind him and cover him with shards. I heard him curse, and remained still, my arms outstretched, waiting for him to reappear.

  Just then, the front door flew open to my left. I ducked back just in time to avoid bullets fired from two men appearing in the doorway.

  “Are you all right?” one of them shouted, and I heard the man in the kitchen grunt in the affirmative.

  I was outnumbered and outgunned. I had the advantage of an elevated position, but I needed to decide on my best strategy.

  I chose to bluff first. “I am a warden of King Maxen on special assignment,” I boomed down. “There are more wardens coming. If you don’t relinquish your arms, they will shoot you down.”

  One of the men in the doorway laughed. “No they’re not,” he called up. “I watched as you arrived here, and in the twenty minutes you’ve been here, ain’t nobody showed. You’re lying.”

  I cursed internally.

  “What do you want?” I asked, already sensing the answer.

  “We’re here for that bitch who calls herself a woman. She’s a murderer!” There was a sound of flesh hitting flesh, followed by a curse and some harsh whispers. I grinned grimly, realizing that one of them had said a little too much. I waited for the whispers to settle down.

  “That’s why I’m here too,” I said. “You’re right, she is a murderer, and I’m bringing her to justice.” It irritated me that my chest constricted as I said the words—I pushed it aside. She is a murderer. Get used to it.

  There was a long pause. “Is that right?” the man from the kitchen shouted.

  I paused, wondering if any of these men had been present, and seen my face, when I’d rescued Violet from Porteque. If they had, they would likely think I was lying to protect her, though I had no real intention of calling a truce with the men of Porteque. Patrus was harsh on women, but not as harsh as these men were: They would torture any woman they deemed “unwomanly” until they broke them. At least in Patrus, women were given a quick death. With the Porteque gang, they were the living dead, their agony lasting for years.

  I had no qualms about lying to these bastards, or telling them the truth to get them to stick their heads out so I could kill them. I was not a murderer by nature, but I had seen some of the rescued victims of their “re-education” program, and in this case, I was willing to make an exception.

  “Yeah,” I shouted back.

  The man in the kitchen laughed, a cruel sound. “I wish I could believe that, but I recognize you. You rescued her after she murdered my brother, and you let her get away with it!”

  With that declaration, he fired, the bullets hitting the wall next to me, spraying me with plaster and chunks of wall. I raised a hand, protecting my eyes. This was not going well. Time for a new plan.

  I moved back down the hallway swiftly, heading into Lee’s bedroom. I shut the door, locked it, and pushed the heavy dresser against it for good measure. It would buy me some time, but not much.

  Darting to the window, I ducked down low, and then glanced out quickly over the backyard, looking to see if they had posted a guard in the street beyond it. It seemed deserted, but lights were beginning to come on from the other houses.

  I debated what to do—if the neighbors had heard the gunshots, which was likely, they were already calling the wardens to inform them of the troubl
e, but there was no way that they would get here in time to assist me.

  I began stripping the bed. I had never actually tied bedsheets together to form a rope, but I was fairly good with knots. I quickly began tying the ends together, making a makeshift rope. I was three stories up, but falling even one story was better than falling three. It took no time for me to tie them together and anchor them using the bedframe.

  I was a heavy guy, but luckily the bedframe was heavy, too. It would hopefully support my weight on the descent. I tossed the bundle of sheets out the window, just as the doorknob began to rattle.

  “Got him! He’s in here,” came an excited voice. I fired my gun in the direction of the door, not meaning to hit anyone, but spook them.

  “Nobody’s home,” I called dryly as I grabbed the sheets, wrapping them around my arm and around my waist, in a makeshift rappelling line.

  I straddled the window sill, keeping one leg over it as I slowly tested my weight on the line. My heart was pounding as I did, because if the knots failed or my hand slipped, I would fall face first into the asphalt below. There was a slamming sound against the door, and I smiled grimly. The sheets were holding my weight. By the time they got the door opened, I would be at the bottom.

  I took a deep breath and removed my other leg from where it was hooked over the sill. Bracing my feet against the wall, I started to let myself down a few inches when an urgent whine grabbed my attention.

  Looking up, I saw Samuel, his front paws scrambling on the window sill. He must have been hiding in one corner of the room. He was shaking, his soft brown eyes wide and full of panic. He whined again, trying to climb up on the sill.

  For a second I hung there, just staring at the canine while my mind churned on what to do. Then, with a low groan, I climbed back up.

  The door was thudding harder now, and I could hear the scraping of the dresser’s legs on the floor as each impact pushed it back.

  “If you get me killed, then I am revoking your man’s best friend card,” I muttered as I grabbed the dog and tucked him under my arm. I started to leave, and then, remembering, I pulled my gun and fired two rounds into the computer on the desk. I heard the doorknob break as I tucked the gun back into the holster. Quickly, I swung out of the window, one hand on the sheets, my other arm trying to keep a hold on the dog.

  Rappelling this way was difficult, especially because the dog was struggling against me. “Stop it,” I hissed, repositioning him over my shoulder.

  The dog gave a high pitched whimper, but I ignored it, as I focused on using one hand and both legs to lower myself down to the ground. I wanted to move faster, but one wrong move and we would both drop. It was hard, but I had to be patient.

  I neared the bottom, my shoulder aching from the strain. The makeshift rope swung about five feet above the driveway. If I could make it to the end, my feet would be touching the ground no problem.

  Just then, I heard a commotion coming from the third floor. Looking up, I saw a head poke out of the window, and felt a tug on the rope. I knew they weren’t pulling me back in. Glancing down, I gauged the distance, took a deep breath, and let go.

  The sensation of falling had always been disconcerting to me. It was the sudden weightlessness that overcame you, where the only indication that you were falling was the air racing past your ears.

  I bent my knees to absorb the impact, but it was still harder than I wanted, and I fell to the side, remembering to cradle the dog to my chest to avoid him getting injured.

  “He jumped,” shouted one of the men.

  I snatched my gun from the holster, and fired at the head that poked out from the window. He slumped, my aim true, and I heard the remaining two men curse, dragging his limp form back through the window.

  I took the opportunity to escape. Standing up, I raced to my bike. I was relieved to see it untouched. I opened up a large side bag and the dog gave a yelp of excitement, his tail slapping against my ribs. I tucked the dog in, clipping it closed so that his head remained out— it would be uncomfortable for him, given his size, but it would have to do.

  I jumped on the bike and gunned it. Gunshots exploded behind me and I crouched low, making myself as flat as possible. This helped streamline the bike, but also made me a harder target. Bullets whizzed by me, and I grimaced. There wasn’t anyone on the street, thankfully, but even a ricochet through a window could kill. I couldn’t stop to check though. I could only hope that the other wardens arrived in time to catch them.

  Irritation filled me as I realized I was basically running away. It wasn’t who I was, even with the odds against me. The fact that these men were still on the loose, doing as they pleased, sickened me, and I was letting them go free. It was almost enough to make me turn back. Almost.

  I had bigger things to focus on. Namely, a girl with dark hair and gray eyes who had been haunting me since the day I met her. A girl who had murdered dozens of people and left me to be hanged. My grip tightened on the throttle in anger, and I had to take a deep breath to relax it.

  I looked over at the dog, his mouth open and tongue lolling out, my mind planning my next course of action.

  After a few minutes of riding, I pulled over to the side of the road and slipped out my handheld. I kept my gaze on the street behind me, just in case the Porteque men were pursuing me. The first call I made was to headquarters, alerting them to the presence of the men at Lee’s address. They curtly informed me that they were aware and that the wardens were on their way.

  I made a second call. I waited patiently and then began explaining what I had learned, and gave a list of what I needed for the trip ahead. After the call was done, I patted Samuel on the head, then gunned the bike, taking off toward Veil River.

  6

  Violet

  I froze, the buzzing of the red flies overwhelming my senses. Every time I breathed through the mask, it made the sound disappear for a second, causing the hair on my body to stand on end. I held my breath, listening for the noise, trying to discern the direction they were coming from.

  The rest of the sounds in The Green seemed to have dulled, as if all the creatures knew the red flies were out on a hunt. My mind fumbled to remember what Ms. Dale had done on that first day we spent in The Green, but my brain felt thick as a brick.

  The buzzing sound was definitely growing louder; moving closer to me. My heart beat quickening, I stumbled backward, away from the noise. My foot struck something, sending it spinning away from me. I managed to get the flashlight on it a few seconds before it disappeared into the mist, illuminating the silver aerosol can as it rolled across the mossy ground.

  The aerosol can. I was so stupid. Of course, the aerosol can.

  I scrambled after it, searching for it on the ground. The buzzing grew more persistent, but I focused. The can would help keep them away from me. I just needed to find a small space to squeeze into so that they couldn’t engulf me.

  I heard something shriek from the direction of the buzzing, and stilled. My hands shaking, I cursed beneath my breath. I needed to get it together. Never in my life had I felt so helpless and frustrated. My anxiety was palpable.

  I thought again about the Benuxupane pills in the bag. I had taken them only once, and they had managed to suppress my emotions. Maybe I really should take them again.

  No, I told myself firmly, my fists clenched. If anything, they were responsible for how I was behaving right now. I remembered Lee mentioning something about one of the side effects being anxiety. Maybe it was responsible for the fact that I couldn’t seem to think straight right now.

  I scanned the ground, and found the silver can wedged under a root. I shook it—it was half full.

  I hurried to where my bag was, taking extra care to make sure everything was back in place. I nearly kicked myself when I saw the other four canisters in the bag. I had known they were in there, but with the panic that seemed to be arresting my senses, I could only seem to focus on one thing at a time.

  I took a deep breath, and tr
ied to calm my mind, picturing the steps of what I needed to do to hide. First, I needed to finish packing the bag.

  I did it quickly, in spite of my shaking hands. I sucked in a deep breath of air through the mask.

  Second, I needed to find a hole. I began to scan the tree that I’d been sleeping against. The roots were massive, but I didn’t notice anywhere I could curl up and hide.

  The sense of panic threatened to overwhelm me again, as I felt tears forming in my eyes. Crying in a mask was never a good idea, as moisture in there would cause it to fog and obscure vision, so I took yet another deep breath and blinked back the tears.

  I started talking to myself, which helped me to focus.

  “Okay, you just need to find a hollow log. That’s good. Just use your flashlight and look around. There’s plenty of vegetation here, so you’ll find something very soon.”

  Focusing on my words helped push the anxiety aside. I felt my chest loosening, and my muscles unclenching. The shaking in my hands stopped. I moved quickly, talking as I did so, until I spotted a hollow log.

  I felt my lips start to form a smile, when something caught my eye. I adjusted the flashlight, focusing on it, and almost screamed.

  Twenty feet in front of me, rippling out like a wall, was the swarm of red flies, hovering in unison. Their crimson bodies shimmered, and it might have looked beautiful, if it wasn’t so terrifying. It was hard to make out an individual red fly. They darted in and out of the swarm too fast to distinguish. From this distance, I could feel the buzzing of their wings, the sound vibrating along my skin and in my bones.

  I took a step to the left, toward the log, and I watched as the swarm rippled, adjusting itself to me. The log was maybe five or six feet behind me. I licked my lips and took another slow step back.