The Gender Secret Read online

  8

  Violet

  I woke up, instantly alert. Once more, the sounds of the forest had fallen silent, alerting my brain to some imminent danger. It was daytime, or as close to day as it could be in The Green. Muted rays of light trying to penetrate the dense canopy cast the forest in deep dark shadows, bisected by small slivers of light.

  I shivered, peering out of my shelter. I looked around slowly, trying to draw as little attention to myself as possible. There was less mist today, so I could see further than normal, but nothing moved. It was like the entire forest was holding its breath.

  Then came a long keening sound, soft and low. It was difficult to pinpoint the direction it came from. I slowly reached into my bag, and pulled out the gun. My heart was pounding, but I was in better control of my emotional state than yesterday. It seemed that the Benuxupane had finally worn off.

  I gripped the gun tightly, just like Ms. Dale had once shown me, and continued to scan the undergrowth, my eyes trying to pierce the gloom, looking for any telltale sign of danger.

  The groan came again, long and urgent, replacing the silence of the forest with its haunting song. It was beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

  Adjusting my grip on the gun, I used my free hand to help myself up. The bite on my thigh throbbed, but I ignored it. I rested my hip against the trunk of the tree, and continued to scan the forest. Whatever it was, it was well hidden.

  I took an experimental step forward, my muscles tense in anticipation. A tree branch snapped under my foot.

  A flurry of movement exploded from the undergrowth to my left, and I dropped to one knee, my gun up. I heard the sound of cracking branches and leaves being pushed out of the way. It took me a moment to realize that whatever it was, it was moving away from me.

  I exhaled the breath I had been holding, my muscles sagging in relief. I hadn’t been able to make out what it was, but I was surprised that it chose to flee instead of attack. Given how the forest had fallen silent at its presence, I had expected something predatory, like the red flies.

  Maybe I had scared it. Humans weren’t common in The Green, and if it hadn’t encountered them before, it could have fled as an act of self-preservation. It was a puzzle, but for the meantime, I was safe.

  I couldn’t be sure how much time had passed since I’d fallen asleep. I lowered myself back down into a sitting position, and began going through the bag.

  Now that my adrenaline was fading, I became aware of how much pain I was actually in. My ribs ached with each breath I took, and I had an acute headache. All of my joints were throbbing, and, in spite of the humid heat, I was shivering, which meant I had a fever.

  A fever was bad. I needed to re-evaluate my plans on rescuing my brother. Chances were that I would die trying to make it to him. I needed help.

  I forced myself to drink six long gulps of water from the canteen, then opened one of the cans of food, using my fingers to eat the green gel inside. I recognized what it was: It was a protein gel, filled with vitamins and nutrients, but basically tasteless. Which was good—my stomach was already heaving from the water.

  After I finished, I started sorting through what I had left. It was hard to focus. Nausea coursed through me, forcing me to stop a couple times, sucking in air to try and calm it down. I concentrated on sifting through my supplies while I considered my next move. Getting organized helped me focus.

  I strung the key to the egg on a piece of fabric and tied it around my neck. I put the gun into one of my pockets, and slipped the clips into my back pocket.

  Then I started to put everything back in the bag, but paused when I picked up Lee’s letter, my eyes reading his words again, considering them.

  Lee talked about us being pawns, and maybe I had been one. But even a pawn could capture a queen. Maybe there was a way I could do everything I wanted, using the egg. I breathed out, letting the thought roll around in my head.

  Then the dizziness was back, and my stomach writhed. I couldn’t hold it in. Leaning over, I had the good sense to rip off my mask before my stomach started heaving, pushing out all the food and water in my stomach onto the mossy ground of the forest. It took several minutes before my stomach was empty, and when I finished, I wiped my face off, and pulled the mask back on, sucking air through the filter. I leaned back heavily on my knees, ignoring the compulsion to lie down.

  With shaking hands, I untied my makeshift belt and slid Lee’s pants down over my hip until my bandage came into view. I untied it, removing it from the bite.

  The skin around the bite was red and inflamed. Looking at it, I felt the wound throb, sending tendrils of pain up and down my leg. I touched the skin around the wound. It was hot. I pushed down a little bit, and bright yellow fluid leaked from the puncture marks.

  A wave of disgust coursed through me, and I had to turn my head to keep from vomiting again.

  It was definitely venomous. All of my symptoms were clear indications and it had become obvious to me now that I had two options, both of them equally dangerous for different reasons.

  I needed medicine. I might be forced to make a sharp change of plan.

  Both Patrus and Matrus would likely have what I need, but they wouldn’t just give it to me. The instant I turned up in either place, I would be seized as either a terrorist or a murderer.

  I thought of the egg. That was potentially my ticket. Both sides wanted it, and I had it. I could use it to barter for treatment, and possibly immunity. I just had to decide which place to make my deal with.

  If I chose Patrus, I ran the risk of them not honoring their deal. In fact, I doubted very much that King Maxen would take kindly to a woman having anything over him. He was a proud Patrian male. If I showed up and demanded treatment in exchange for the egg, he would likely take it from me, and kill me anyway.

  Then again, if I went to Patrus, maybe I could locate Viggo and ask him to help me. If he was still alive…

  I pushed the thought of Viggo being dead from my mind. But even if I did find him, there was no guarantee he’d help me. Depending on how many holes Patrus had discovered in Lee’s and my tracks, Viggo might be in prison, soon to be executed.

  If that was the case, maybe I could use the egg to save him and me. I pulled the object out of the bag, watching the light reflect on its silver surface.

  I wanted to hope that would be the case, but I knew in reality that it would never happen. King Maxen wouldn’t allow me or Viggo to go free, nor would he lift a finger to help me.

  Returning to Matrus made sense. The Matrians would be more reasonable with me since I was a woman, and would likely honor their deal. Not to mention, the only evidence that they had on me was from when I touched Queen Rina’s shoulder in the office, after her death.

  I had Lee’s letter of confession—that would help to exonerate my name. And I still had the egg, which I could barter. If I was smart about it, I could clear my name and claim my brother, and maybe get transport down south of Veil River to The Outlands in search of somewhere for both of us to live.

  I shuddered as a quiver of fear raced down my spine. That was a desperate thought.

  No one knew what was in The Outlands. Several expeditions had been sent throughout history, with not a single person making it back. There had even been an unprecedented cooperative effort made with King Maxen’s father, King Patrick, and Queen Rina, to send a group comprised of both Matrians and Patrians. They had been given the most powerful transmitter both countries could produce, enough food and water for months, and weapons. For a week, transmissions were coming through regularly, and reports were printed for citizens to track. Then transmissions went dead, with no more reports coming in.

  Eventually, both sides had given up hope of return. Some believed that the Patrians had turned on the Matrians, killed them, and wound up dying themselves. Then again, I was certain that the Patrians were sure that it was the reverse. Either way, it didn’t matter. No one returned from The Outlands.

  Still, I had
limited options. Given the time I’d already spent in The Green, it was clear that this place was death. The Outlands were an uncertainty. What was certain, was that I could never again live in Matrus or Patrus. As a pawn, I was a liability—they couldn’t let me live long enough to potentially expose them, even if I didn’t know the full extent of the egg’s purpose and intended use. Not to mention, they had physical evidence that I was present at the crime. Combined with Lee’s dead body, it would be rather condemning to the Matrian government that I, alone, was responsible.

  However, given that no one returned from The Outlands, it was an option that I was sure the Matrians would accept, since it certainly meant death for me and my brother. Still—a slim opportunity for survival was better than none.

  I put the egg back in the bag. The best, obvious first destination was Matrus. I would hide the egg somewhere in The Green, find a warden, and introduce myself. I would explain that I had something that the queen wanted, and that I wouldn’t give her the location until I had been treated, my brother returned to me, and provided transport to The Outlands.

  If the new queen wanted the egg, it would work out. Perhaps I could even give them Lee’s letter as evidence clearing my name. I wasn’t sure if they’d believe me, but it was worth a shot.

  I retrieved Lee’s letter, folded it up, and tucked it into one of my pockets. I stood up slowly and then picked up the bag, slinging it over my shoulder.

  I used my knife to cut a branch off a tree. Stripping the smaller branches off, I weighed the stick in my hand. It was almost as tall as I was, which was good. I was going to need a walking stick for this hike. Resting against it, I realized I was already sweating from that small bit of exertion. I was running out of time.

  I pulled out the compass, spinning it until the needle pointed north. Then I oriented myself in the opposite direction, and began heading south. I was going to have to move quickly or I would die out here. Taking a deep breath, I began to walk, doing my best to ignore my aches and pains with each step I took. With a little luck, Matrus was only a day away. I could travel that far in a day, I thought, as I pushed into the forest.

  A tiny voice inside me whispered that I could also die before the day was over.

  I ignored it.

  9

  Viggo

  I woke up to the feeling of a heavy weight on my chest. Ungluing my eyelids, I was met with Samuel’s brown eyes. The dog had been a bag of nerves since we had entered The Green. His fur had been standing on edge for half a day, and each sound of the forest caused him to whine and move closer to me. Now he seemed calmer, although that could be because he had burrowed in close to me. It was too hot to have a dog sleeping next to me, but every time I tried to move him, he would just get up and return to his original position. Eventually, I had given up.

  We had traveled as late as possible last night, setting up camp last minute. I knew from Alejandro that the most dangerous creatures in The Green were nocturnal. It was risky to move at that time and would attract a lot of unwanted attention.

  I sat up, pushing Samuel off me. The polymer blanket I had strung up was still undisturbed, but I didn’t know what might be waiting for me on the other side. I pulled it aside slowly. The area around the campsite was clear.

  I quickly broke everything down, taking only a few minutes to eat a cold breakfast and drink some water. I offered some food to Samuel, who ate greedily.

  “Better fill up,” I murmured, patting his head. “We won’t be resting again for a while.” The dog seemed to understand, and finished everything I put in front of him. I’d make sure to give him water when we moved, but I didn’t want to stop at all, if possible.

  I pulled out my handheld. Violet’s dot had frozen last night, but now it was moving again. I studied it for a few minutes, analyzing the direction she was heading in. It was clear she was making a beeline south, in a straight line. If I cut east fast enough, I would be able to intercept her by tomorrow morning. I’d have to check in a few times to confirm that she maintained her direction, but until then, I needed to preserve the handheld’s battery.

  Standing up, I checked my gun and shouldered the backpack.

  “Come on, boy,” I said to the dog, patting my thigh. He immediately sprang up from where he was lying and began to follow.

  Hiking through The Green was challenging, and heading in a straight line instead of picking a path was particularly dangerous as there were creatures that were easily disturbed hidden in the foliage. The forest was alive with sounds, which was a good sign. It was when everything went silent that signaled a predator in the area.

  As I hiked, I found my thoughts returning to Violet—the woman who continued to haunt me, even after I’d learned of her deceit.

  Tomorrow morning was closer than I liked. I was both ready to see her, but also not. She had lied to me, betrayed me, and tried to set me up to cover her crimes. But she had also kissed me, enveloped herself around my body and held me like I was the only thing she needed in the world. She made me feel unsteady, not in control of myself, and I hated it.

  I was angry. That much was certain. A part of me wanted to shake her for using me. Throw her in a prison so I would never see her face again.

  But I couldn’t deny that I was also worried. Violet was a tough, resourceful woman. However, The Green was dangerous, with any number of things that could kill her in an instant. I was certain she had some skills in surviving the dangers out here, but even Alejandro wouldn’t tempt his luck by remaining here too long, and he was an expert.

  A flash of silver caught my eye, and I turned, pulling out my gun. I could hear something rustling in the bushes ahead of me. Beside me, Samuel crouched low to the ground, a trickle of a growl escaping his mouth. I tensed as I became aware of the forest growing silent.

  Samuel and I remained still for a long moment. The rustling appeared to be moving away from us. We held our position until the sound had gone. Once the forest was noisy again, I holstered my gun. I took my canteen out of my pocket. I pulled my mask off, took several long drinks, and then replaced the mask. I offered water to Sam using the food tin from earlier. He drank it greedily.

  I watched the dog, finding myself envying his ability to survive without a mask. Most animals could—it was only humans who would die when exposed to the polluted air. Scientists theorized that animals both in The Green and for miles surrounding it had adapted to the area’s contamination because their lifespans were shorter, and it was likely that they were exposed to the toxins for many generations. While many animals had died from the pollution, a percentage of them developed an immunity, which they had passed down to their offspring.

  According to the scientists, eventually humans would develop an immunity to it as well, given time. It sounded like some sort of hopeful propaganda to me, one that gave people hope that eventually, they would be able to leave their safe haven and re-enter the world… whatever the world was.

  I didn’t share their opinion. What use was it to hope that one day we could leave? The Green was deadly and The Outlands a mystery that no one had been able to answer. People thrived and survived in Matrus and Patrus. Life there was better than certain death.

  After Samuel was finished with his drink, I put the canteen away and checked the compass, comparing it with the handheld. Violet was still heading south. I clicked it off and tucked it into my pocket.

  I started walking, my mind trying to work out why Violet was heading the way she was. She had to be using a compass—her trajectory was too accurate to be merely wandering the forest. Was she purposefully heading back to Matrus, and if so, why? She was a wanted criminal there, too.

  Unless she was heading for something or someone else. If she was part of a terrorist group, The Green would be a perfect place to have a rendezvous.

  That actually made the most sense to me—it was likely that Violet was working with a terrorist cell. There weren’t many in Patrus and Matrus. The Porteque group was the largest one in operation, but there
were a few others of note.

  The Unification Coalition was the most innocuous. In fact, calling them a terrorist cell was ridiculous, as the only thing they did was protest the treatment of the minority gender in both countries. They published manifestos that spouted that gender-specific laws only served to hurt both countries, and urged both Matrus and Patrus to unify under the idea that all people were meant to live equally, no matter what their gender.

  Suffice it to say, they were pretty unpopular on both sides. Both governments had no interest in changing the policies that allowed them to stay in power. I knew I certainly would not be treated well in Matrus. I was far too aggressive for their society.

  After the Unification Coalition, there was a Matrian group simply known as the Mothers. I didn’t know much about them—nobody did. In fact, if it weren’t for a bombing of a Matrian lab, it wouldn’t even be known to exist. The facility had been raided, but nothing stolen. Nobody was even hurt in the blast. No one was sure why they had targeted that place. The only evidence that supported their existence was a single word on the wall—WHERE?

  It was the newspapers themselves who named them the Mothers, after someone wrote a letter pretending to be a part of the group. It had turned out to be a hoax, the woman in question arrested and later deemed to be unbalanced, but the name had stuck.

  Of those three options, none of them seemed likely to be behind any of Violet’s actions. I had to wonder if somehow, there was a new group of malcontents, one even more dangerous than the others.

  Then what could she be up to? She wouldn’t be working alone, would she? If so, for what reason?

  Samuel interrupted my thoughts with a soggy nose to my palm. I looked down, and realized that his hackles were standing on end. Irritated that I had yet again let my guard down thinking about Violet, I pulled the gun and looked around.

  Everything seemed fine—in fact the forest was practically vibrating with sound. The mist roiled across the ground, clinging to everything it touched.