The Gender Fall Read online

  Viggo took advantage of his silence. “Violet, are you hungry?” He looked up at Dr. Tierney. “Can she eat?”

  At the mention of food, my stomach growled, like an angry beast being woken from slumber, the promise of food bringing it to life again. I flushed at my noisy stomach, but was too hungry to deny it.

  Turning in my seat was painstaking, but I did it, turning my eyes toward the doctor. “That would be amazing,” I said. “Can I?”

  Dr. Tierney smiled at me, nodding. “Actually, I’ve had a broth waiting for you—I was about to have someone bring you some when you woke up—so I’ll go and heat it up, okay? And you need to drink a lot more fluids.”

  She moved over to the kitchen, and I turned back to the table, shooting a grateful smile at Viggo. He met my gaze, the corners of his lips quirking slightly. Exhaling, I turned back to the table and returned my thoughts to the question burning a hole in me. I smoothed my hand over my nightgown. “So… H-Have you heard anything about Tim?”

  Asking the question was hard, but not as hard as not asking it would have been. I already knew what their answer would be. After all, nobody had said anything when I had come in, and judging from Thomas’ guilty face, it was clear there hadn’t been news.

  Or worse, there had been, and they didn’t know how to tell me my brother was dead. My heart contracted painfully in my chest, hard enough for tears to well behind my eyes. I reined them in, reminding myself it was too soon to jump to conclusions.

  “I’m sorry, Violet,” Viggo said, breaking the silence and meeting my gaze. “We haven’t heard anything, one way or the other.”

  That helped calm me, though not much. It was fuzzy, but I had the distinct impression that I’d completely lost it earlier. It wouldn’t be productive to have a sob fest right there in front of everyone, no matter how worried I was. Besides… I knew I was going to find Tim. I had lived for it before, and I would be just as vigilant now. I just hoped it didn’t take another eight years this time.

  “Your cousin Cal went back to the palace,” announced Amber from her new seat at the end of the table. “He snuck off base in broad daylight. Ms. Dale caught him coming back in, though. It was totally badass.”

  I chuckled—it was hard not to. “His name is Cad,” I informed her with a bemused smile. Amber waved her hand in the air, as if dismissing an inconsequential bit of information.

  “Whatever. He went, anyway. He didn’t find any sign of Tim, though.”

  I felt a stab of disappointment, even though I had been prepared for it. I looked up as Dr. Tierney set a steaming bowl in front of me, filled with a clear broth that smelled faintly of potatoes and onions. I frowned at it, wishing there were more substance to it, and she reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “I know it isn’t much to look at, but we should start with a simple broth. If you can keep it down, I’ll give you a little rice so you feel a bit more sated. I want to take it slow, though. You haven’t had anything substantial in your stomach for the last four days.”

  Nodding, I awkwardly picked my spoon up with my left hand, leaned over, and tasted the broth. It may have been simple, but at that moment, it was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted. The doctor squeezed my shoulder again encouragingly, before withdrawing her hand.

  “All right. It seems like you have important things to discuss, which is good, because I have other patients to check up on. Violet, as soon as this meeting is over, you go right back to bed—no ‘buts.’ I’m sure someone will help you back to your room.”

  “Damn right I will,” Viggo growled, and I cocked my head at him, surprised by the intensity in his voice. He seemed to notice me watching, and raised his eyebrows at me, seeming to brook no argument. Dr. Tierney gave me a knowing smile as she departed, leaving us all alone in an awkward silence.

  I frowned, confused by this sudden surge of protectiveness. He had seemed concerned earlier, but there was no need for him to be so… animalistic. What was up with him?

  Then I felt stupid. Of course Viggo was worried about me and the fact I was out of bed and trying to be included, in spite of my recent near-death experience. He was acting like an overprotective bear, his foremost desire to shelter and protect me from being hurt again. I probably should’ve been mildly annoyed, but instead, I felt a sort of strange delight in the realization. I was definitely going to have to talk to him about it, but still… it made me feel cherished and safe.

  I decided to test my theory. I took another sip of my soup, and then looked at Owen. He’d been strangely quiet since I arrived. “So, Dr. Tierney’s here. Does that mean…”

  “That we heroically flew to The Green, managed to convince the Liberators that Desmond is pure evil, and then got them to lend us equipment, their doctor, and a few men? All while you were lazing about and taking a nap?” I smiled at Owen’s joke, fighting back a laugh as he struck a heroic pose and then flipped imaginary hair over his shoulder. It was infectious, and even Amber and Thomas laughed. Viggo shot him an incredulous look, and I let out a soft chuckle at his obvious annoyance.

  “That was a mouthful,” I said, “but that’s awesome. How did you manage to convince them?”

  Amber’s voice was soft and filled with reverence and a touch of awe as she answered, “We showed them your tape.”

  “Oh.” Right. Dr. Tierney had told me that. Once again, I was struck with discomfort, which deepened as I saw the looks of appreciation that seemed to be radiating off of everyone as they looked at me. Even Thomas had a touch of it, which was saying something, because I didn’t think the man was capable of hero worship—besides his admiration of Owen, of course.

  I cleared my throat and took another sip of broth, my eyes darting to Viggo. His hands were balled into fists now, and I could see the disapproval in his face. It was evidence, but not very damning. I needed to push harder to confirm my suspicions.

  “So,” I asked, “what lies is Elena spinning to contain the mess at the palace? Do you have any ticker tapes I could read later?”

  Thomas leaned forward, his chair squeaking slightly as he moved. “Well, the tickers went down after the explosion, and honestly, I don’t think they are coming back.”

  I frowned and looked around. “So we’re flying blind?”

  “No, not exactly,” replied Owen. “Ms. Dale sent Jeff to the city to try to figure out how Elena is spreading news. She figured if Elena wanted to maintain control over the people, she had to be getting the news out somehow. Otherwise there would’ve been chaos and rioting in the streets, and he said it was actually pretty orderly out there.”

  I nodded as I sipped at my soup, but paid careful attention to Viggo. His expression was downright thunderous, and I masked my smile, knowing he was close to detonating. It was what I was waiting for, honestly—if he didn’t, well, then I would know my hypothesis was wrong, and he wasn’t being overprotective of me.

  I was confident I wasn’t wrong, however. I continued, “So, what did Jeff find? Was Ms. Dale right?”

  Thomas nodded emphatically, his lips pulling back in a smile. “Yes, she was. Elena is getting her information out through public forums at sporting arenas and parks all over the city. In fact, one of them is the stadium where Mr. Croft once fought, which presents a unique opportunity to—”

  He was cut off by Viggo’s low growl. “I think this all might be a bit too much excitement for Violet to be handling right now,” he said tersely.

  Thomas came to a stuttering halt in his news report, and I watched as everyone looked at Viggo. Tension in the room formed suddenly, like a rubber band being stretched, and I felt it threatening to snap.

  But I maintained an air of confidence, as though Viggo’s outburst hadn’t fazed me in the slightest. I took another sip of the soup and then put my spoon down, the broth finished. I picked up a napkin and took my time wiping my mouth with it, before turning to Viggo.

  “That’s very considerate of you, Viggo, but I’m feeling much better now, and I would like to be involved in whatever�
�s going on. I may be injured, but I am not incapable of helping.”

  Then I leaned back and waited.

  16

  Viggo

  Everyone was stone quiet as Violet made her little declaration. I could tell they were waiting for my response, but, for the moment… I didn’t have one.

  Of course I was happy to see her up and moving again. It had filled my heart with joy to see her standing on her two own feet. Not to mention my relief to see her talking lucidly, without the persistent confusion followed by horrible panic. She was conscious, active, and appeared to be on the mend.

  She was also being stubborn, and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to wind up hurting herself more instead of healing. I drummed my fingers on the arm of my chair and realized the conversation was starting to pick up again, noting the soft whispers Owen and Violet were exchanging.

  That exchange irritated me even more. Owen should have known better than to let her go on with this. He had been at the palace with me. He had seen her hurt and bleeding! She didn’t need to be talking strategy—she needed to be in her bed, resting, even if I had to carry her there. I couldn’t help but savor such a tempting thought. In fact…

  I stood up abruptly and began moving before the logical part of my brain could talk me out of it. Everyone had fallen silent again, but I ignored them all, my focus solely on Violet. She looked up at me, her gray eyes regarding me calmly from behind her long eyelashes. I caught a flash of amusement there, which only made my resolution stronger.

  I didn’t say anything, just effortlessly picked her up. She didn’t struggle or protest. As I turned to march her out of the room, Violet rested her chin on my shoulder and waved her left hand to the group. “Bye, guys! Apparently, it’s time for me to go to bed.” Her voice was cheerful.

  I bit back a growl at the round of chuckles that erupted in our wake and resisted the urge to throw her over my shoulder, reminding myself she had just had surgery. She needed to be treated with care and not manhandled—yet, if there were ever a female in need of a spanking, it was Violet.

  That wasn’t the Patrian in me talking; that was the alpha in me talking. I knew I was capable of reasoning and logic, but not on this matter. Not when she had almost died four days ago. Violet was going to go rest and stay there, even if I had to tie her to the damn bed.

  I stormed into the bedroom, using the heel of my foot to shove the door closed behind me. Then I crossed over to the bed and deposited her in it. Straightening, I expected to see her looking angry or frustrated, so I was a bit surprised when she stared up at me, a bemused grin playing on her lips.

  My eyes narrowed into slits, and I regarded her warily. Why was she grinning? There was nothing funny about this! She needed to learn to stay in bed when she was unwell. Unless… I felt some of my anger diminish as I remembered what Dr. Tierney had said about one of the side effects being emotional imbalances. Had I hurt her when I moved her?

  Before a surge of panic and concern could hit me, Violet leaned back into the pillow, the bemused expression deepening. “Your alpha male side is showing again,” she said, a little song in her voice.

  That was definitely Violet, I thought. Good—I wanted to be angry for this. Her lucidity made it easier for me to act, because I knew it wouldn’t distress her too much. If I was honest, I knew it wouldn’t sway her in the slightest, but I still had to try to convince her. “I don’t care. You need to be in bed,” I announced.

  The look she gave me was one of amusement mingled with that knowing look, as if she realized I was being irrational somehow. I wasn’t, of course—I was far too in control for that—but still.

  “For how long? Dr. Tierney let me out. That means I am capable of leaving it.”

  “Violet, I know you—you’re going to push yourself too hard. You don’t need to worry about what’s going on out there; you need to focus on getting better.”

  Violet frowned and shook her head. “Viggo, I’m not going to stay in this bed forever,” she said softly.

  “You will if I have anything to say about it,” I retorted.

  Violet cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “My brother is out there,” she said flatly, and I frowned, recognizing that I had trodden into dangerous waters.

  I cleared my throat and tried a different tactic. “I know that, and I promise, I will find him. But Violet, you need to understand that you almost died—no! When I found you, you weren’t even breathing! You died. Do you understand what that was like for me? I thought I had lost you!”

  My voice ended in a shout, and I blinked, taken aback by my own outburst. Looking down, I realized my hands were shaking, and I balled them into fists just to hide the tension. My heart thudded loudly in my chest, and I took a giant step back and turned away, trying to calm myself.

  While I breathed heavily, I heard the bedsprings squeak under Violet’s weight, followed by the sound of her bare feet hitting the floor. I exhaled sharply and closed my eyes, searching for strength, but finding none.

  With a groan, I turned around and began to move around the bed toward her. Violet froze and dropped back onto the bed, halfway into trying to stand. “What are you doing?” she asked softly.

  “Getting into bed,” I said. “You’re clearly going to try to come and comfort me, and I don’t want you leaving the bed, so I’m coming to you.”

  Violet’s smile bloomed, and I could see her fighting back a laugh. I realized how ridiculous I was being, but I didn’t care. Her health was more precious to me than my pride—but that didn’t mean I had to be happy about it. My motions were abrupt and tense as I pulled the blanket down to the foot of the bed before dropping into it, the bedsprings sagging under my weight.

  I propped myself up with some pillows and then crossed my arms. Violet had already lowered herself into a lying position, and I felt her scoot over slightly next to me, her right shoulder bumping mine, her left hand folding over her body to rest lightly on my chest, over my heart. I sighed, trying to hold tightly to my anger, but it was hard. Lying next to her was its own special torment, but one I wouldn’t trade for anything.

  Silence lapsed between us. Then, Violet broke it. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly, and I looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m still going to be getting out of bed and helping out,” she chuckled, noting my hopeful expression. I let out a frustrated sigh and turned back toward the ceiling. Her hand stroked over my chest, pressing against my heart. “But I am sorry for scaring you like that. Honestly, I wanted you to be with me the entire time I was at the palace—I was so scared. But you know… You know I had to go.”

  I did know that. It didn’t make me feel any better. It was irrational, but it was how I felt. I remained silent, but turned toward her a little so I could look at her face. She bit her lip. “You know I’m going to want to help. I’m in this fight, Viggo. I just can’t sit out for six weeks while my arm and head and ribs heal. But I also know I’m a liability right now. As far as missions go, I know I can’t participate.”

  “Thank you,” I said, relief pouring out of me. Finally, she was being reasonable. Now if I could just…

  “Hold your horses,” she said, and I halted. “I know you’re sitting there planning just how to give me jobs to keep me ‘busy’ and make me feel ‘useful,’ but can I remind you that when you were in my shoes, I never did that to you?”

  I opened my mouth, and then closed it sullenly. Curse her and her damnable logic. Maybe I was being unfair to her, but it was who I was. Couldn’t she see that?

  “I know being protective is just who you are. I don’t blame you, but you need to lighten up,” she said, and I wanted to groan at how well she knew me… and also knew just how to defuse me. “But on this, I can’t compromise. I can’t—I won’t—stop. This is just as much my fight as it is yours. We’re partners, remember?”

  I sighed, more irritated by the fact she was right than anything else. My anger had already started to dissipate. “Why do I suddenly feel
like women are getting too many rights in Patrus?” I grumbled.

  Violet smacked me lightly on the chest, and I turned to take in her bemused smile, angling my body more fully into her, until we were face to face. I sucked in a deep breath and then exhaled, letting my anger and irritation go. But I needed to get out one more thing as well.

  “I was so scared,” I admitted, my voice hoarse with raw emotion. “It was terrifying to see you in that bed. It wasn’t the same, but when Miriam was awaiting her sentence… every time I went to see her… it was the exact same feeling. I didn’t know how to help you.”

  Violet’s smile melted, and her face grew sad with empathy. She reached up and cupped my cheek with her good hand, and I leaned into it, needing her touch. I hated feeling vulnerable around anyone except her. She was the only person in the world who could comfort me, and it was easy to let her. I loved her.

  “Oh, Viggo,” she sighed. “If I could go back in time and change how it went down, I would.” She reached up and skimmed the bandage around her head with a rueful expression, and then snatched her hand back as soon as she stroked over the stubble. “Believe me, I would.”

  I chuckled. “To save your hair?”

  She shook her head, a crooked smile on her face. “To spare you this pain, for one thing,” she said softly. “And to figure out what happened to Tim… I know you won’t give up looking for him. He’s as much your little brother as my own. Just… Just don’t leave me out of this. I couldn’t bear it.”

  My heart broke for her as I took in the pain that brimmed in her eyes and turned her lips down, and I reached out and grabbed her chin. “I would never do that,” I said softly. “I would never leave you out of this, and I promise to keep you in the loop. But you have to promise to take it easy, and tell me when things are getting to be too much for you, okay? You’re not being a burden when you do, so promise me.”