The Gender Fall Read online

  Violet gave a halfhearted smile and nodded. “I promise,” she whispered. Her gray gaze flicked down. “Thank you,” she said.

  I smiled at her, caressing her cheek with my thumb. “Of course, baby. I love you. Not to mention… you’re going to be my wife soon.”

  She smirked at me and raised her left hand, showing me her bare fingers. “I don’t see a ring here, do you?” she teased.

  I snorted and leaned in closer to her, loving the cheerful sound back in her voice, my focus entirely on her lips. “As soon as I have a chance, I’ll go ring shopping,” I whispered against them. “Or looting, or robbing, or…” Whatever else I was going to say was lost as she closed the tiny gap between us, pressing her lips to mine.

  I hadn’t gotten a chance to tell her how I felt when she’d come into the room upright and lucid; I had tried to tell her in words in our argument, but everything had kept coming out jumbled and wrong somehow, overprotective, angry. So I tried to tell her now, with my lips, something I was unable to put into words. Slowly, softly, we tasted each other for the first time in what felt like years. I was incredibly delicate, and I took my time, enjoying the soft little murmur of pleasure she let out against my lips, the way her mouth pressed harder into mine, trying to get a reaction out of me.

  There was no way we were doing anything more than this gentle kiss when she was so injured, but parts of me that had been silent, crushed under the weight of sleeplessness and constant worry for our lives, came awake at even this soft touch. I groaned, and allowed my hand to gently brush up her left arm and over the sides of her neck, like she was a fragile thing instead of the tough, resourceful girl I knew her to be.

  “HEY, VIOLET!” I froze at the excited shout that cut through the door. Violet’s eyes shot open; she and I barely had a moment to exchange glances when the door was thrown open.

  Jay bounded into the room, his youthful face a mask of pure excitement, completely unaware of the tender moment he’d interrupted. I’d managed to pry my lips from Violet’s in the second we’d had before he saw, swinging myself up into a sitting position. Meanwhile, Violet carefully turned herself over onto her back, her face grimacing in pain again, and looked up at the young man as he gave a whoop and flung himself at her.

  “Jay—” I winced and surged forward to hold him off if I needed to, but reason caught up with Jay, and he paused just short of tackling Violet with a hug. He hovered instead, his blue eyes filling with concern as he took in her bandaged head and bruised face. She looked self-conscious, though I couldn’t see why, but seemed to push it aside, smiling at the younger man.

  “Hi, Jay,” she said, sitting up and holding her arms open to him. Relief lit his features, and he carefully slid in to hug her, obviously taking great pains to rein in his incredible strength. She held him close with a light grip. I’d seen him around the base various times during Violet’s convalescence, but I realized she hadn’t, and it was plain to see the relief on her face that he was all right, save for a few small cuts and bruises on the side of his face.

  He let go of her and perched on the side of the bed. She reached out and lightly touched the side of his face, where the bruises and scrapes were already mending. “How’d this happen?” she asked. I felt no jealousy watching her tenderness with the young man; he felt as much her brother as Tim did, after all, and it was sweet to watch her dote on him.

  Jay frowned and looked away, his cheeks coloring slightly. “I, uh… ran into a wall in the palace,” he admitted. “We were being chased, and someone was firing, so I had to get low quickly. I wound up slipping.”

  “Not bad at all, considering what could have happened,” I pointed out.

  “Yeah,” Jay said, some nervousness emerging in his tone.

  Violet frowned and lowered her fingers. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she said. It had apparently been the wrong thing to say, however, as Jay shot her, then me, a guilty look.

  She cocked her head. “What’s wrong?”

  His shoulders slumped and he stared up into her eyes, his eyes tearful. I had no time to worry what this was about, although I was beginning to guess…

  “I’m so sorry, Violet,” he said, his voice thick. “I should’ve been the one to stay behind. But I thought Tim was right behind us. By the time we noticed he was gone…”

  Realization dawned, and I felt a jarring sense of empathy. From the look on Violet’s face, she felt the same way. Of course Jay blamed himself. All of us felt horrible about Tim, and Jay had probably been the first person to know he was missing; why should he be any different?

  I tried to find words to say, but Violet was ahead of me. Reaching out, she took Jay’s hand in her own, patting it gently. “It’s okay, Jay,” she soothed him, taking a deep breath. “It’s not your fault. Tim did what he thought was right, and I’m sure if your positions had been reversed, you would’ve done the same thing.”

  “But I should’ve done it,” the young man practically shouted, his voice belligerent. “I should’ve been the one to stay!”

  I sighed and shook my head as Violet continued to pat his hand. “Let me ask you a question,” she said. “When you found Quinn, how did you decide who would carry him?”

  Jay blinked in confusion. “What do you mean? Of course I had to carry him—I’m stronger, and Tim’s skin makes it hard for him to… oh…”

  Violet’s voice was firm, and I continued to watch, admiring the way she had allowed the young man to come to the conclusion on his own, even as I felt deeply for him. “Exactly. You both played to your strengths. Tim is better with a gun because of his advancement, just like you’re strong enough to carry a fully grown man for a long time. Jay, I’m sure you would’ve stayed if your positions had been reversed, but… they weren’t.”

  Jay’s face darkened, and he shook his head, as if shaking off the comfort. “But Tim is your brother,” he exploded. “He should be here with you! I should be the one missing.”

  Violet paused for a longer moment at that one. Watching them, I wondered if maybe, just maybe, a part of her would want that. But then I saw concern blossom over her face—and tenderness. Even if she somehow felt that way, Violet would never let it conquer her.

  “But then we would be just as worried about you, Jay,” she said. He stared only at her, his eyes serious. “You’re family too,” she added.

  That got her a ghost of a smile, and she pulled him back into another hug. After that he seemed to feel better, because he leaned forward eagerly and peppered Violet with questions, making me chuckle.

  “How are you? I have to say, I really like your cousin, he’s cool. Did you know he snuck out to go find Tim? I wish he had told me, I would’ve gone with him. Oh! And Viggo got the Liberators to join the cause! In less than twelve hours!” Violet shot me a glance at that, one that imparted not only her admiration but a bit of her exasperation at the barrage of thoughts and feelings. I shook my head, a smile tugging at my lips, and her own smile grew in response.

  “Ms. Dale has been working with our new recruits, but they are really, really awful, not to mention…” the young man continued, and I decided to rescue Violet. As soon as Jay drew in another breath to speak, I quickly interjected.

  “Hey, Jay, can I ask you a favor?”

  He blinked in surprise. “Of course! What?”

  “Could you help us out and get Violet something to eat? Dr. Tierney said if she could keep down her soup, she could have a little bit of rice, so…”

  Jay was already up, practically vibrating with excitement. “Of course! I’ll be right back!” He left, closing the door behind him, and I turned back to my gray-eyed girl, who looked infinitely amused.

  “Well, that was excellent timing,” she said, raising her eyebrows at me.

  “Impeccable,” I agreed. “But it was probably best we stopped there anyway. You’re still recovering.” I knew better than to say ‘fragile,’ which was the word I had been thinking the whole time. “And I… Well, let’s just say it’s hard hold
ing back sometimes.”

  Violet cocked her head at me, seeming mystified but amused. “Even when I’m all bald and… and gross?” she asked.

  “You’ve never been gross to me,” I said honestly, moving toward her and kneeling next to the bed, level with her face. “You were beautiful even when you were about to be operated on. Even when I picked you up off the ground in the king’s palace and carried you to the car…” It was normally hard for me to say emotional things like this, but with Violet, somehow they came naturally and felt right.

  She reached out her left hand to me, and I took it gently, threading our fingers together. She didn’t respond for a while, just looked at me, her storm cloud eyes brimming with emotion that said more than words could.

  “I love you,” she said after a while. “Thank you.”

  “Thank you for not being dead,” I murmured. “And I love you too.”

  Violet smiled at me, and then her grip slackened a little bit, and she yawned.

  “Tired?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  I got up and leaned over her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Get some rest. See if you can eat something when Jay gets back. I’ll be in later to check on you—and tomorrow, I promise I’ll start getting you more up to speed.”

  She nodded again, sinking more heavily into her pillow. “Okay. Just… you’re not going to sleep somewhere else, are you?”

  I looked back down at her, smirking. “I’m a gentleman, Violet, not a saint. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sleep anywhere but next to you if it’s humanly possible.”

  17

  Viggo

  I kept my arm around Violet’s shoulder as we stepped off the sagging porch together. It was Violet’s first day outside in the three days since she’d woken up properly after the surgery, and though it wasn’t the first time she’d walked around, it would probably be the longest she’d been upright the whole time.

  We’d both managed to get some rest and recovery during those days, and now Dr. Tierney had given us the go-ahead to get her up and moving this morning, but had cautioned she should only have short bursts of activity. Violet, who had been begging the doctor to let her go out for almost all of those three days, hadn’t liked the news, but her desire to do something had forced her to agree.

  “I’m still going to make you stop if you push yourself too hard,” I warned her as we stepped onto the damp grass.

  She shot me a mischievous smile. “At least I’m letting you help me.” She smirked, and I looked away, my face heating. I knew she was just kidding, but the fact I had chased her off during my recuperation after my own heart surgery still speared me with feelings of regret. It was not one of my prouder moments, and she’d already reminded me of it more than once.

  “I’m just glad you aren’t being as pigheaded as I was,” I muttered. “I’m glad you’re letting me help you.”

  She chuckled, leaning into me. “Well, that’s just because I’m clearly better than you. You are so lucky to have a girl like me.” Her eyes twinkled with humor.

  “Well, that might be true,” I agreed with a laugh, guiding her toward the barn.

  The camp had been set up efficiently—Ms. Dale had taken care of that. The narrow yard had been sectioned off. Tents were erected in twin lines against the forest on either side, leaving plenty of room around the small dirt road for vehicles to pass through—and close enough to the woods that they would be harder to spot from the air. The barn was off to the right, built close to the tree line, and the vehicles we had procured, most of which wouldn’t fit inside it, were parked beside it, opposite to the road.

  As we walked, I explained that most of the equipment and weapons from Ashabee’s estate had been placed in the barn. We were up to fifty-three recruits in our small army, but hadn’t yet found any more refugees to recruit—if there were any more refugees. Ms. Dale had managed to raid one of the weapons storehouses that Ashabee and the king had identified for us, so we were set in that regard. Yet now we had more weapons than soldiers to carry them, which was problematic, as there was no way fifty men and women could stand up against the entire might of Elena’s wardens.

  I hid nothing from Violet, and she listened carefully as we walked, her head nodding here and there as I outlined all our problems one by one. When I got to the issue of food, she paused, cocking her head.

  “There was a ton of food at Ashabee’s,” she said, her voice questioning.

  I shook my head. “Yes, there was, but fifty people eat a lot. We’re going to be out of food in a matter of days, not weeks. But we’re brainstorming solutions. Somehow, we’ll make it work.”

  She nodded thoughtfully, then sighed, shifting her weight. “I’m getting tired,” she admitted.

  Looking around, I spotted a small hill between the house and the barn with a tree growing atop it—well, it was more of a mound than a hill—and nodded toward it. “Let’s go sit down.”

  Violet began hobbling toward it, her expression stiff with determination. I hesitated, then scooped her up in my arms. She gave me an exasperated look, but didn’t protest as I carried her over to our destination. I sat her down gently, then dropped to the ground next to her.

  She leaned against the tree, pulling her borrowed jacket tighter around her body. It was a beautiful day, with high clouds sailing in a blue late afternoon sky; the tree above us swayed in the breeze, and long, soft grass grew beneath it, making a wonderfully cushioned seat for us to take our breather. Still, there was a chill in the air, and I could see some of the green of the trees beginning to drain away, leaving leaves trained with red and gold. Fall was coming, with winter right around the corner.

  As if reading my thoughts, Violet looked around the camp and asked, “What are we going to do if we can’t stop Elena before winter?”

  “Ms. Dale has been scouting around, but right now, we don’t have a plan. We’re looking into it.”

  She nodded. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out. It might be a good idea, once we get our people trained, to start embedding them in the city instead of hiding out here.”

  I smiled. Ms. Dale and I had already discussed that, and had both argued for other ideas before reluctantly deciding it might be the best way forward. Violet may have had a broken skull, but her mind was as sharp as ever.

  She sighed, tugging the rough woolen cap that covered her bandages down farther on her forehead. I cocked my head at her. “Feeling self-conscious?”

  She shrugged. “It’s stupid,” she said. “It’s just hair, and it’ll grow back, but I can’t help imagining that I look like a… a giant baby.”

  I laughed before I could stop myself, and she gave me a sharp look. “Sorry,” I said. “But… seeing as I was the one who shaved your head, I can safely say you do not look like an infant without your hair.”

  Her features softened, a smile sneaking onto her lips. “I noticed you haven’t caught me up on the actual news from the city and any of the plans you have going on.”

  “Well, that’s just because you haven’t asked. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me you’re ready.”

  “I’m ready. So what’s been going on?”

  Reaching into my pocket, I met her gaze. “I’d much rather you hear it from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. Jeff’s been waiting for me to contact him, and I figured you’d want to sit in.”

  “Should we get Owen and the others?”

  I shook my head as I pulled out my handheld. “There’s too much going on to stop and have a meeting every ten minutes. We’ll meet in the morning to get everyone up to speed. Sometimes it’s my job to talk to Jeff, sometimes someone else’s. I asked for the job today.”

  Moving closer to her until we were pressed shoulder to shoulder, I keyed in the code for Jeff’s handheld and waited for it to connect. A moment later, Jeff’s face filled the screen. “Good morning, Viggo. And you as well, Violet. I’m glad to see you recovering.”

  “Thank you, Jeff,” she said, a smile on her
lips. “So they sent you into the city, huh? How’s that going?”

  “As well as can be expected. I have established myself at a boardinghouse, and have received a job helping to clean up the burnt-down sections of the city. For some reason or other, the Matrians don’t see me as threatening, which I find quite useful, all things considered. The job itself is not exactly exciting at the moment, but it does put me in a position to notice things.”

  “Oh, really? Like what?”

  “Well, nearly one hundred Matrian wardens have arrived by boat at the city.”

  My eyes widened. “Are you sure about that?” I asked.

  Jeff nodded, his blue eyes grim. “Tiffany—one of the maids from Ashabee’s—followed them for a bit, until it became too risky for her to go any farther. We’re still not sure where their main base is, but we’re working on it.”

  I exchanged looks with Violet. Her face was drawn; the severity of this information was not lost on her. More troops meant Elena was stepping up her plans. “What about the news?” I asked.

  “Ah, yes, well—the announcers noted three things of interest. The first is they are implementing a national registry and the issuing of identification papers. Apparently, a lot of citizen information was lost due to the destruction of the palace, and in order to track rations, they are requiring all citizens to register.”

  I absorbed this and frowned. “Damn, that’s going to be tricky. Do you know if they’re going through with those security checkpoints you mentioned the other day?”

  “Yes—that might be why they are bringing more wardens into the city. In order to combat terrorism, as they put it.” Jeff’s voice was prim as he announced it, but his face reflected his distaste. “On that note, they also announced that after a thorough investigation, they have discovered the culprits behind the bombing of the palace were the Porteque gang. Apparently, they disagreed with the interference of Matrians in their city.”